todays society failed me

there is just something about todays society

something about who they want you to be

you cant even be who you want

without everything throwing a fit and being so blunt

who cares what you wear or what you believe

there is two different lives, theres a difference between you and me

heaven forbid you wear less clothes

youre a slut, a bitch, or just another hoe

but you cant be covered up

youre too uptight, too modest, you need to know how to loosen up

why the fuck does it matter, it is what is inside

you should be able to dress the way you want and flaunt it with pride

i wear crop tops and short shorts too,

does that make me a bad person, even though id take a bullet for you?

my body is shown and thats my choice

but because of your opinion i have no voice?

the human body is beautiful and i cannot lie

but because my stomach is out i have to pay a price?

of you calling me names and criticizing my life?

everyone thinking i want attention, whether it be from men or not

i am expressing self love and my inner thoughts

sexual assault victims have it hard.

it is all what we wear, that we were asking for it, it was only fair..

so what about the ones who dont dress up

the ones who look like theyve just woken up, or the ones without any make up

what is the excuse

there is none

i was wearing basketball shorts and my hair in a bun

a practice jersey with sweat dripping down my face

he looked at me like i was wearing some fucking see through lace

right after practice, smelling so bad

tells me hes proud of me like hes my fucking dad

making moves on me like im his fucking wife

when his wife is at home with his three kids, showing them how to write

he would be driving past my road taking picture of my house

and every time it would happen i would scream so loud

scared he would come over and me not know what to ldo

I would lock the doors, call my mom, just sit in my room

wondering when the next time would be, for him to assault me

not wanting to go to practice, because he would hurt me

he would say  "id never do anything to hurt you"

and make me say it too

cut back my playing time if i didnt do what he wanted me to do

making me wear certain outfits

to please his eye

made me lose all faith in all other guys

I woke up in a hotel with him under the sheets

having a panic attack so bad that i could barely speak, trying to just act like im asleep, so nothing would happen to me

All of this, while another coach was in the room

I cried for help

he sat in the chair as if he was glued, watching my abuser in bed with me while it was rising his mood

he tried to get me a separate room with his own money, so he could abuse me

over and over

time again

making me sit by him on the bus and not with my friends

brain washing me to think i was all my fault

that i was in the wrong when he got caught

whats the excuse?

i was covered up

what does society have to say about the way HE fucked up?

somehow it always gets turned around on the victim

saying they wanted it , they started it, and then some

its a crazy world

that is so unfair

but out of all things

it doesn’t matter what you fucking wear

-mw