Daiya vegan non dairy cheesecake - oh yum!

Hard knocks Methacton school alum

ofttimes finds ruining his fate

while squarely planted on me bum
nevertheless felt rightly triangulated

flashed mobbed by disheveled and unshaven,

foo fighting beastie boys

whereby their gray stubble encrusted

wayward synonymous days old crumb -

after getting wolfed (re: gang lions)

as delectable entitled treat

buttered fingers drubbing upon tabletop
analogous to playing a drum
oy vey, yours truly cannot believe
he ate the whole thing -
thus feeling bloated and glum

giving way (rather succumbing)

to Sir Isaac Newton's

first law of motion first law
a body at rest stays oh so ho hum

inclined to remain supine
and comfortably numb
able, eager, and ready (reddit)
to down tumblr full of rum
cogito argh go sum... my poor tum.

ALDI GIANT supermarkets
(within small radius of miles

from me Schwenksville, Penna abode)

sell delicious delectable treat
goading, inspiring, and spurring me

to craft poem essentially

patronizing manufacturer,

whose skilled food technicians

engineered absolute winning dessert

courtesy their natural born talent

schooled (most likely at culinary institute)
possibly supplemented insync
with advanced degrees
at other institutions of higher learning

after various and sundry
trials and error with plus or minus
marginal limits of tolerance

concocting mouthwatering secret recipe.

Lemme use hypothetical situation

to accent chew ate,
how alluded dessert tastes great,

especially when rumble in tumbly

clamors for glorious goody
regarding appetite to satiate

unfortunately circumstances
force your truly to wait.

If (the following

constitutes far fetched scenario)

stranded on a desert island,

I after falling to Earth

when parachute fails to open,
weighed down by an excess of

Daiya vegan non dairy cheesecakes,

would finagle an empty pie tin
flashing aluminum dish higgledy piggledy

to signal an oinking porcine SOS
think jeepers creepers

knowing my luck being abducted
by an alien cannibalistic, gnostic,
narcissistic life forms,

who quickly abandoned me

subsequently left to my own devices,
(where you dear reader
would discover one humbug),
I would be forced to scrounge around
rubbing two sticks together
to create warmth
plus distilling oils -

derived from edible herbaceous plants,

whence I would ejaculate
(not prematurely) - olé

to sauté said collard greens
with wild mushrooms.