Friends

To look back over one's life and remember the circumstances that confronted you and the actions which you were given to make life almost devoid of choices. The actions of others affecting a life are un-debatable.  You only have control of your life and the options aren't abundant. Why'll we grow things change your comprehension ebbs and flows without control. A friend is only as gracious as they are kind in heart. It boggles the mind that most have little dedication to another and often are erratic making you realize that it could be you, when in fact you have been all but disillusioned from the beginning. I have been disappointed so many times, I feel down and depressed. No matter or what I did it had no affect, no importance and no understanding at the time. Even today I look back and with experience still don't see or understand the full depth of what has transpired and why. I have not found any reason for my disillusionment. I know its not me, I acted in good faith but those around me forced my direction thus making many life altering changes to which I had to comply. Its a wonder I have made it so far when so many of my stricken friends have died. I feel sadness and depression...my life altered never to go back and regain those moments of growth of natural selection. My heart is as serene as possible within the boundaries set fourth by misleads and deeds. Your path is without continuous direction and you mental baggage grows with with every path set forth by a uncontrolled batch of given directions. This life only allows you so much control so be continuous and warm heart it in you actions and hope for the best. There are great people friends and they become brothers you can count on you whole life I miss them with all my heart. I hope we see eachother soon. I dont have a genetical brother.