The Conversation

She said fifteen years was a long time.
Ten years of that was waiting for you to get ready.
She didn’t laugh.
What I’m trying to say is, it’s over.
You’re not getting ready ever again.
In a way, yes.
Should I be celebrating this news?
It will be a new start for both of us.
Okay, I’ve just realised, this is a serious conversation.
Yes, I’m ending the marriage.
That’s a bit final, are you eloping with the milkman.
I just don’t want to be married any more.
Is this when I ask, is there anybody else involved.
There’s no one else involved, I just don’t want to be married any more.
You don’t fancy popping back every Sunday and making your famous steak pie.
Maybe every fourth Sunday.
What about the odd Saturday night sex session.
Don’t you fancy someone new?
No, I don’t think I’ve got another fifteen years to break someone new in
What if I find someone new.
Well, I suppose you could invite him round for Sunday lunch, but I draw the line at the Saturday night sex session.
You are okay about me leaving.
Well, I’m not completely happy about it, you do have this knack of knowing where everything is.
You could just phone me and ask.
Do you really want me phoning you twenty times a day?
I’m sure you’ll get used to it.
Is this what we call tough love.
I don’t want it to be, I was hoping you would say good luck.
In a way I am, but I’m still trying to negotiate you staying.
I think you know my mind is made up.
I know, but i had to try.