The Lost Sunshine

How does it feel, to watch your dreams being splintered ?

Well, I didn't know

I was, but only a boy of 18

Worried about the world? Never had been!

 

Knew nothing about love, 

Knew nothing about hate, 

Jealousy and evil, what were they? 

The kid grew up

Not a kid anymore. 

I heard those lads saying, "Why can't I have one more?"

For they said, a mountain looks beautiful

When it gazes at the reflection on river, a pure symmetry! 

And no dove can live, without the shade of its tree. 

 

I turned to ask the question

Flustered on their thoughts 

Why does one need someone

To tie their knots?

I had my friends, the fillers of my void, 

I had everything

I ever wished till tonight

 

God smiled at my conception, 

Sent her to break my assumption

I was firm of it, 

I had my path, 

I had my sun, 

I had my goal, 

And was ready to chase it through the hell

Even if the drape of clean darkness fell. 

 

But I was wrong

I was lost, in my aspirations

To defy the God

To prove my worth

But you see, 

I became the very being

I despised so greatly. 

 

I Saw her occasionally

Not aware of what the tingle that rang deep inside meant

Vibrations of that tingle

Resonated all the way to my heart 

Why? I'm a man, not a puppet to begin with! 

Why am I still unable to feel it? 

Days passed, 

So did the resonance

Thinking of her, made my heart dance

Forgetting her was like getting slashed in half! 

Water always calms the fire

But is destined to never be close to each other. 

 

Her thoughts made me crazy

The aftermaths made me insane

However I can't stop thinking about her 

I was burning deep inside

Lost in the abyss

Like a fallen leaf in the sea 

And a lark lost in the mist. 

 

Writing a poem? Never ever thought of it. 

But her presence made me realise

None express thee feelings better than the words you write

To the part where I knew, I can not be together

Later or sooner

I sat down to write her name on the sand of the beach

Waves came, washed them away

The slow voices of the soul, 

Took a leap

Although knowing nothing it can reap. 

 

She was never mine, never will be

But still in envy I sigh. 

When she cries, it's my sorrow

In gratitude, I deep down bow

For me, she was my past, she is my present, and she will be my tomorrow. 

 

Every little imperfections

Seemed perfect

I wanted her to adore the way

No one ever did

Maybe it was

What they call the first love

Even before I could realise, I was out of the circle. 

Never having known how it feels, 

To embrace the one you adore

To make them smile with your thoughts. 

 

I remember, 

The first day I met her, 

The first time I wrote about her, 

The first time I fell in love with her, 

The first time I saw, the reflection of hers, 

In my reflection. 

Never been aware of how complex these bonds could be

Even the thoughts of severing them seems crucifying to me. 

 

They say you are still too young for this

Unaware of what cruelty the world has to gift thee. 

The world may be cruel, but it is also lovable, 

For the one who made it possible, I never wanted to let her go

I just wanted to change, the way the things have been

Didn't want to see it end, the way it was going

But I was a no one, capable of nothing

Nothing but to accept, the truth of mine

The acceptance of fate, all that I could see. 

 

Ships may meet in the sea some day,

But how a vagabond hold onto his angel, When she has flown so far away? 

I wonder, will she ever know, how much she meant to a single person?

The impact she made in someone's life, will she ever know?

 

Paths are different,

The visitors uneven. 

I knew I had to move ahead,

For the better parts I've always got through

But it's quite an irony, 

Whenever I wanted to recall her face, it used to be so strenuous

Now that I want to forget, they flash in my mind, a nexus!

 

Still I'm thankful, 

I got my friends to pull me out of the whirlpool. 

To lead me the way upto my self hood

Always will be thankful to the one, who helped me get back up.

Helped me to figure the process of life, 

That it doesn't always go the way you want it to be. 

Helped me realise I'm not a nobody, I've my words, I need to fulfil them all.

 

I still have the joys in life

Still I hear the fluttering of the butterflies

But how the perception changed, 

I question this myself 

For gaining my old self

I began moving ahead on my path, just as she did on her own. 

Only one thing I could never

Get back for sure

The fragment of my heart,

On her doorstep, that, which is forever begone!