My Errant Mind

MY ERRANT MIND

By

LAUREN KIRKMAN

AT TIMES IT’S HARD TO FATHOM

THE QUANTITY OF MY PHANTOMS HAUNTING ME.

IT TAKES GOLIATH IN ME NOT TO GNASH MY TEETH AND SCREAM.

BECAUSE THE EQUIVALENT OF DISTURBIA, ARE THE DEMONS INSIDE OF ME.

BELLOWING FROM THE ROOFTOPS IN MAGNIFICENT FITS OF RAGE.

WITH THE HATRED OF MY FELLOW MAN.  THE BEAST WITHIN ITS CAGE

BATTLING TRYING TO FIND THE COURAGE TO LET MY LIGHT COME THROUGH

THE SURFACE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THIS HATE NO MORE.

IN THE DARKNESS OF MY CELL IT’S HARD TO FIND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR.

THERE AREN’T ANY WINDOWS, NOT EVEN A DOOR.

HOW AM I TO ESCAPE THIS BROKEN HELL, WHAT AM I LIVING FOR?

KARMA CONSTANTLY CHASES ME.

PAYING FOR THE PAIN I DISHED OUT.

SHATTERED DREAMS, UNFULFILLED PROMISES, HEARTACHE, SANS THOUGHTS FILLED WITH DOUBT.

MY ARRANT MIND CAUSES MY SOUL TO BE CONSUMED WITH MISERY.

I ASK ALLAH EVERY NIGHT, IS THIS TO BE MY DESTINY???

I SWEAR I DON’T DESERVE IT, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF BEING IMPERFECT.

CAN IT?

I WANT TO FIND A REASON TO BELIEVE IN MY UNBELIEF.

TO UNBURDEN MY SOUL SO THAT MY SPIRIT CAN BREATHE.

I DON’T WANT NONE OF THIS NO MORE.

I NEED TO GIVE MY ERRANT MIND RELIEF.  PEACE!