A Letter to My Teen and adult Kids

Firstly, it is essential for you to know that I love you and wish you the best things in life, side by side with your best wishes.

It’s important for you to know that you are not a function of any mistake, but rather a plot of destiny. Note also, that bringing you into this world was out of our respect and love for life and shouldn’t be a curse. You aren’t entitled to take my peace; parental trauma is real. It is important for you to rise above your worst impulses and selfish tendencies, step down from your high horse and wake up to the fact that being your parent shouldn’t stop me from my own dreams, goals, and life’s ambition. 

I love you, but you got to share the responsibility of making your life successful with me. I don’t owe you my savings, they were starched up to take care of me when I get old, but if I have more than I need, you can have the rest when I am gone to pay for my funeral expenses, and you can keep the change. 

Now, work on your own, save your money too and give your kids a copy of this Letter I wrote you. 

Ask them to break the circle of entitlement and ever-lasting dependency, rather they should depend on their hard work, keep on dreaming, and work towards making their dream a reality.

Ask them to do charity as it is the right thing to do.

Ask them to be grateful for most of the wants they got from you above the needs you provided.

Counsel them that part of being grown is taking responsibility for their life’s needs and goals. Remind them to let their work speak for themselves and treat respect like a seed of investment that pays dividends to all that invest in it. Make sure they understand that people aren’t just supposed to respect you without your commensurate input.

Remind them to share life with the same vigor that matches their expectations, and that it takes the effort of all to nurture a safe and prosperous society.

Tell them they are the government, and that government isn’t aliens, hence, everything they do reflects on the overall impression of a government. 

Remind them to show respect for the rule of law, as it is what separates us from animals, and that the law is the collective will of the people that must be followed.

Tell them that failing at some things doesn't make one a failure, but rather a pointer to the need to find other ways and build your bank of experience.

Tell them to be patient with building friendships, Relationships, and their dreams.

Tell them of the benefit of exercise and healthy habits

Tell them that people will hurt them many times, not because they want to, but also to keep an eye on repeated behaviors to see if there is a pattern to it.

Tell them to love on purpose and be mindful of the feelings of others. Make them understand that no one is perfect or without faults of their own, 

Tell them that no hurt is worth taking someone else’s life or desecrating the sanctity of it, only in defense of their life and property should a thought like that be entertained.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling, of which anger, pride, jealousy, and insecurities are examples of those to be mindful of.

Remind them that life will sometimes hurt, but that the hurt doesn't last forever. Remind them also that fears and emotional scars are but a fog that will pass and shouldn't be giving a permanent room in the mind to live forever. 

Teach them to love deliberately and not out of pity, for it never ends well.

Teach them to go into relationships with utmost honesty.

Teach them not to feign affection for short-term gain, as the outcome could potentially outweigh the immediate benefit.

Teach them to discuss their concerns, especially with their partners, with an open mind and make an effort to listen to the concerns of the other party.

Teach them that it is ok to leave a relationship that only brings hurt.

Teach them to model their habits in moderation and take their affairs seriously.

Teach them the benefit of taking prescribed medications regularly.

Teach them that youthfulness is temporary, and everyone will get old, hence show the elderly respect and love, for they are a mirror of you tomorrow.

Teach them to forgive those that hurt them and themselves for things they can’t change

Above all these, teach them to approach every day with the mindset of a learner and to be humble enough not to allow their biases to be a hindrance to learning, for there’s a reason behind any interaction.

I Love You, oh Child of Mine

An ode to my Offspring.

 by,

Victor Iyamu