Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

 

The constant heavy breathing, the tight feeling in my chest making my lungs feel like a balloon being popped.

 

You make the air so dense I can't breathe it in, am I drowning? 

 

Plummeting down a dark, overwhelming hole. 

 

But how did I fall? 

 

You behind me dragging my feet deeper and deeper into the hole, making the light from the top of the hole father away

 

With each hefty breath I take, the more you push yourself down my throat, making it impenetrable to breathe, but why do you do this?

 

Finding pleasure in me not eating, not sleeping till I feel numb. 

 

This is never going to end is it? I begged you to stop it but you didn't listen. 

 

I pray to God to make you go away, to be 6 feet under the ground, to go where you deserve, but the more I think about you the more indestructible you get, twisting my stomach into knots, everyday making my life a living hell, a never ending battle between you and me. 

 

I have no more strength to fight you, I fear you, and the more I fear you the more powerful you become, you make the night seem darker and the days feel longer, why do you keep dragging me down this hole? 

 

People think im crazy, you made the doctors put me on pills, while your growing, im becoming less of myself, between you and the pills you make me feel senseless, the gut retching feeling you give me and the migraine the pills give me, im stuck in this hole. 

 

Which way is up? 

 

With deep hatred, 

Hope