This accidental arsonist sparked following matchless anecdote

I attribute being a grown mad scientist

linkedin with tacit approval of parents

(both long gone to the smoky afterlife),

and donned wizard trumpeting magic spells

while dark and stormy night

(one week before Halloween),

which usher nostalgic memories

encapsulated within the following poem

initially drafted quite some years ago.

 

Both parents possessed pedigreed panache

(but especially my father – renown Chemist

B.B. Harris and to slightly lesser extent

late culinary cuisine queen Harmit Harms

Kuritsky - gal whose troth thy then still

livingsocial octogenarian widower papa

pledged, while holding some bubbling

sinister looking flask in hand while both

donned trumpeting finessed affianced

doctored formula to marry, when both

partook of blind date.

 

This combustible transunion link analogous

to their representative first electric kool aid

basic laboratory litmus test date), which

took place without a hitch, and telepathically

encouraged begetting retinue of revered

sons and daughters, whose ken hopefully

burned with passion KRISPR incubated,

inculcated, and incurred genetic outlook

ideally transmitted to prolific brood

of begotten babes.

 

This kid felt embers crackling, popping,

and snapping with yen that burned from

within and without buns sin burner of this

cingular earthlinked son.

 

No matter a bit tentative to experiment

willy-nilly (wonka like) with rather

explosive materiel, I received truckloads

of ammunition (in tandem with benevolent

benediction) to foster dare devil and

derelict pyromaniac precocity.

 

Those initial awkward formative forays

assaying, assessing and carefully calibrating

this, that or other liquid or powdery substance

found me meticulously measuring and

weighing the substances using kitchen

midden malodorous kid gloves.

 

Frequent disappointment arose from

yours truly as well as momma and papa

when net result (of these early attempts

to blend powders and/or liquids) merely

fizzled and self extinguished

into near inaudible poof.

 

Continual daily practice (would lead way

for me to enter Carnegie – Mellon ---- Hall)

after countless travails, trials and trolls i.e.

uber vaporous wisps to lyft yawping banshee

like holograms, or equivalent of 10,000 maniacs)

eventually bore successful fruit in the form

of near perfect results.

 

Success in hotly contested field Pyrotechnics

requires striking resemblance

to any other vocation.

 

One must be able, eager, ready and willing

to maintain burning passion no matter any

unforeseen setbacks or heat from an

objectionable source.

 

Yes, there would be an errant conflagration

(sometimes set purposely by adjunct professor)

as object lesson to master usage of fire

extinguisher/fighter, a vital piece of equipment

and evenhandedness for getting hold

instantaneously jetting kickstarter live matches)

to contain any runaway flame.

 

I do sheepishly admit to (ahem) you

on occasion the outcome went awry.

 

Nonetheless, they prided their potential

fire branded wizard in the making with

kudos and praise with DYNAMITE.

 

Practice from indiscriminately creating

unpredictable concoctions, these lethally

marshaled nonchalant opportunities

provided quintessentially random results

though usually very wimpy in tandem

with totally tubular nerdy, geeky, freaky,

and dorky beastie boy.

 

As proof positive and proud testimony, they

proudly pointed (upward) to the kitchen ceiling.

 

There such handiworks practically covered

entire ceiling with variegated splotches.

These scorch marks keepsake frescoes to show

kith and kin unspecified years into smoky future.

 

Quite accurate to assume

father and mother coached,

goaded, and nurtured

exploratory ambitions and

tried not to stifle

(at least consciously or deliberately)

my early stage ambition

toward scientific artiste bent.

 

As homeschooled and to some extent self taught

chemically romanced muralist, I grew up (not

surprisingly) in Unitarian household paid

close attention also adhered to the pioneer spirit.

 

The near limitless boundaries of life, liberty and

pursuit of understanding

an underlying credo, which

allowed, enabled and provided near endless

experimentation even at the risk of life and limb.

 

Aside talking head

nearly burning down the house

amidst talking heads practically in dire straits,

an instinctive reflex found me immolating myself,

occasionally singeing the canine fur of Lady,

Schultz, or Socrates, et cetera no frightful

catastrophic outcomes occurred thru milieu

of mixing deceptively harmless looking

inert raw materials.

 

Trial and error (quite successful with latter)

via blithely cooking dicey elements forming

goulash hiccupping laboratory mishmash

practically eliminated any pained regret to take

daring risks (such as getting married – ha)

in later life.

 

Despite favorable and lovable upbringing,

my mother (ever the protector and/or proctor

of our family and an excellent chef boyardee

to boot) still managed to insinuate (gently

as possible) the necessity to be careful when

igniting flammable materials lest

some uncontrollable conflagration ensue.

 

She (mom) did frequently confess to feeling

ever so slightly jittery and uneasy with my

slapdash amateurish homebrewed pyrotechnics

and much preferred to steer my attention toward

safer hobby such as the edible objets d’arts i.e.,

the much more drab field per how to present

and aesthetically appealing and nutritious meal.

 

Fondness to prepare food and pretend to be

faux renowned cook (this confession admitted

rather baldly and obviously deduced) actually

competed for my most favorite avocation activity

and spare leisure time.

 

In other words, this chap did relish designing

his own recipes mainly from leftovers in tandem

with unpronounceable multisyllabic organic

compounds filled numerous sized dishes

and aged apothecary bottles respectively.

 

Without question though, the passion plus

less riskier factor to combine and potchka

dry and wet ingredients together did rank

as considerably safer medium that still

allowed, enabled and provided me an equal

opportunity to test reactions, than those

earlier iterated potentially explosive hazards.

 

Nonetheless, my cavalier crusading overactive

appetite, hunger and thirst to discover causative

outcomes (even with purportedly innocuous

looking household cleaning supplies or easily

acquired inert materiel) nearly witnessed an

apocalypse at three two four Level Road

on one particular nasty occasion.

 

I anticipated our domicile would become

rent asunder, and reduced into a black

and decker ashen funeral pyre, yet for

grace of some divine force no family

members nor pets succumbed

nor got asphyxiated from choking acrid air.