Dilemma

I know life ain't a bed full of roses

But I did nothing wrong to be laying on thorns every night

I've never wished another fellow bad

I've never speak ill of another

Suffering has been the only thing I wake up to

And tears are what my pillows are filled of

Suicide might ease the pain 

For I've worked more than I've earned

I've been lost more times than I've been found

I've been scolded more times than I've offended

I've lost my mind more times than I can remember

I never thought it would come down to this

I heard them saying 'suicide is not an option'

But do they even listen when I speak?

Do they ever tried to wipe the tears off my face?

Or provide a solution to my problems?

All they do is point out their fingers at me 

As the bad one if I failed to listen to them 

Or failed to wipe the tears off their face

They've never tried checking up on me 

But I'm the bad one if I failed to do so

All they expect of me is to comfort the ones

That never think of comforting me

No one really cares if I'm lost, sad, depressed or crazy

They only see me as someone they can run to

When they're in dire need of me

But I watched them looking at me 

Like some piece of shit when I need them

I'm only needed when I have what is needed

No one really cares about a broken guy

I see I have no reason to live anymore

Or maybe I was born too soon

I know life goes on with or without me

Yet several expectations were made for me by them

When I disappeared to take care of myself

I was seen as being selfish

Even when they knew I was losing my mind 

Yet they never cared

The more I think about leaving this world

More I think about my family

I know of their struggles too and 

They pose as the only reason to live

But when everyone is fighting for their lives

It's all hell of a fight

And you hardly know your comrades are going down

I worked to earn a living

But the country is not helping

Way too corrupt that making a living is harder

Than teaching a bird to swim

It's quite unbearable

And I don't think I can go on with the pain anymore

I possess several talents yet I'm an underdog

No one recognizes what you're doing

Lest you belong to the larger community

It's a problem you face being an antisocial

I'm at a cross roads where I don't know

If leaving the world is right or wrong

Just as the advices means nothing without help

Several get well soon but no one is getting the drugs

Several you will be fine but no one is making the effort

Just as consoling the problem without suggesting a solution won't yield a thing.