When I sit here, alone
fencing, with my indelible anxieties
on that ensuing, inevitable
surrendered blink,
morosely exulting
in a gravely, sighed
yearning
for a caress of hopeful light
and distance, from warped serenity’s
cake slices of demise.
Reality’s subjugating rein, mirages - slip
stumble and set free, floodgates
of imagination’s dread, loosed
galloping wildly, aside
my plummeting, sense of self
as I, staring - expectantly
huddle, within threadbare quietude’s
stunted volition of fleeting defiance.
Despairing, in-face
of bleak perception’s, sheer-face shorelines
of entailing, oblivion
as-if, cascading listless
from my mountain peak of obliviousness
and once, beatific surmise of life.
To think, to ponder
and acknowledge, that eventually
I shall never be around
to witness, smiles
adorning those faces
I do so love and yearn-for
even, while at their side.
To give up
upon dreamed, wondrous majesty
come to terms with life’s onslaught shards
of realisation’s, irreversible horrors
like knowing, never again
will a day’s bookended, twilight heroics
grace my eyes
gloriously, glimpsed from upon a bridge
betwixt
those ghastly, grey slab skyscrapers
of all-things anathema to Nature’s sublime.
To understand, these very words
may very well be my last
to have my sunken fingertips, flow
upon sorrowful QWERTY keys
playing, deft notes of Poesy’s tears.
To feel
your lips, your kiss
caress my sins into irrelevance
and that midnight, Aurora heat
of impassioned embraces
convincing us
there’s nothing, more certain
than that love
we grasped, so white-knuckled
tight.
To watch, a flea’s gaiety
buzz around me, all
full of whimsy’s, vitality
with darting, daring
undefinable flight paths
and surmise
this seed of doubt, I cling to
is futility, manifested
in but, a stifled breath’s
last pulsed, breathless hoorah
at that impending finality
of dust to atom, unshackling regress
before, a deaf n dumb Universe’s
graveyard of unpoetically, sparse
indifference.
To smile - away
such morbid realisations
and flip a page, showcase
that survivalist, repertoire
of bravely attuned, necessary ignorance
to stave off
such debilitatingly poisonous, fears
and stopper our porous creativity’s
insidious inclinations
and try, to convince our misleading muse
such, morose musing’s
are mere momentary, nightmarish snippets
escaping our mind’s tempestuous glades
like Autumnal, scarlet thought-leaves
fluttering
upon a gust of momentary unease.
Letting these inked words
of our fallible - insecurity, rivers
flow, in those brooklet seconds
between
watching an Ant line
being haplessly pulverised
with a size ten, misstep
while simultaneously, noticing
a fleeting butterfly, Phoenix’s
bright daintily wings, flapping
to guide our harassed thoughts
towards horizon’s enticing vistas.
When I alone, seek bravery’s defiance
to marginalise that finale’s inevitability
as paralysing curse
I choose
to close my eyes and have You
dance
upon my mind’s pooling disquiet
like carefree bare feet, stamping
to cleanse muddy rainfall puddles
so as, to disperse this futile dread’s
stranglehold
on that gift of unbidden laughter’s
solace.
© L. B. Mek
March 2022
-
Author:
L. B. Mek (
Offline) - Published: November 14th, 2022 03:49
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 32
Offline)
Comments7
When we are found by laughter again that is when we know that we will make it through another day. Thanks for sharing L.B.
indeed, I believe it takes more muscles to smile
than it does to frown or cry
hence, we must learn to cherish
that we achieve with survival's demanding efforts...
(thank you, for your encouragingly insightful comments
dear cherished Poet
your supportive words never fail to humble me, back
to a more grateful, mindset)
That is such a good thought and insight about the effort that brings good fruit! A true act of love and kindness that springs from within swells upward and outward in a smile. And the lines and creases from all that smiling shows a live well lived and well loved.
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"To close my eyes and have you dance" a great line from a wonderfully constructed piece LB
that's one of my favourite lines from this humble scribble
trust you to connect and read with such care and detail
thank you, kind friend
L.B. these reflections and soliloquy on inevitable separation is marked with some great lines upon my mind’s pooling disquiet
"like carefree bare feet, stamping
to cleanse muddy rainfall puddles
so as, to disperse this futile dread’s
stranglehold" Thank you so much for sharing this well written common theme to us all.
so glad you enjoyed the read dear Poet, thank you!
and indeed, it is such a common theme
Took me a few goes to find the time to read but what an unforgettable scroll. More than a poetic soul, more than my words can express! You my friend are the dragonfly of the human kindness, seeing both sides for what it is!
Thank you for sharing
O my days not heard that tune for time, bringing back the memories of being to young to leave home but knew it was the only road I could go down...
Keep shining on good sir!
I will endeavour to someday be worthy
of your incredible kindness dear poetic Kin
till then I will humbly, thank you! wholeheartedly
(yeah, Tracy Chapman's 'fast car'
and this video/song
scream: 'soundtrack of my youth')
lol
(how fleeting life's years, counted in fractional
shards, of memento highlights
how sad we realise a second's worth, belatedly
as 'waning-heart's', too late...
yet, despite it all
we lived in each gifted breath
and survived, long enough
to treasure, life
a 'Bitter Sweet Symphony': truly!)
1 more comment
Have you ever read the secret history by Donna Tartt? Her language is exquisite- same as yours. You weave such strong emotion with seemingly so little effort it is inspiring. You remind me of my favourite author. Please take this as a compliment- as that is what it is.
what a gift of a comment, I'm so humbled kind Poet
Donna Tartt
is up there for me with Edith Wharton 'age of innocence
Iris Murdoch 'under the net'
and so many more, literary female 'Geniuses!'
whose legacy seas of ink, grace my poetic heart
with endless lines of eloquence, delivered
unfiltered and thus, so immersive and relatable:
(“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it.”
for me this line should always be read aside and as counterweight to Keats:
''A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never.
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep. A bower quiet for us, and a sleep.'')
thank you! I know what I'll be reading this weekend
lol
(forgive my self-indulgent little tangent of hero worship)
My dear friend, you speak so fluently of the human condition. The feeling that life is fleeting, that time an illusion. Fears that cause us to distract ourselves daily, and we must somehow reconcile to. Yet to share this uncertain life with another eases the disquietude, and we can fine peace, perhaps joy in acceptance. A sublime write my dear friend!
'Fears that cause us to distract ourselves daily,
and we must somehow reconcile to.
Yet to share this uncertain life with another
eases the disquietude, and we can find peace,
perhaps joy in acceptance.'
(Amen!!!
best lines of distilled poetry on this page
in my humble opinion)
thank you! kind Poet
I have now lost count of the times I have read & re-read this epic reflection back on back and shall no doubt re-visit again from time to time .. each time, by the way, I get the feeling I enjoyed it more and more ............... Neville
Awesome!
I genuinely hoped you would get a chance to read this one
in another life, I imagine we would've a few memorable nights
blathering-on poetic, about this topic
aside a few bottles of the good stuff
🍻🍻😎
thank you, kind Poet
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