When I seek solace from within

L. B. Mek



 

When I sit here, alone

fencing, with my indelible anxieties 

on that ensuing, inevitable

surrendered blink,

morosely exulting

in a gravely, sighed

yearning

for a caress of hopeful light

and distance, from warped serenity’s

cake slices of demise.

Reality’s subjugating rein, mirages - slip

stumble and set free, floodgates

of imagination’s dread, loosed

galloping wildly, aside

my plummeting, sense of self

as I, staring - expectantly

huddle, within threadbare quietude’s

stunted volition of fleeting defiance.

Despairing, in-face

of bleak perception’s, sheer-face shorelines

of entailing, oblivion  

as-if, cascading listless

from my mountain peak of obliviousness

and once, beatific surmise of life.

 

To think, to ponder

and acknowledge, that eventually

I shall never be around

to witness, smiles

adorning those faces

I do so love and yearn-for

even, while at their side.

 

To give up

upon dreamed, wondrous majesty

come to terms with life’s onslaught shards

of realisation’s, irreversible horrors

like knowing, never again

will a day’s bookended, twilight heroics 

grace my eyes

gloriously, glimpsed from upon a bridge

betwixt 

those ghastly, grey slab skyscrapers

of all-things anathema to Nature’s sublime.

 

To understand, these very words

may very well be my last

to have my sunken fingertips, flow

upon sorrowful QWERTY keys 

playing, deft notes of Poesy’s tears.

 

To feel

your lips, your kiss

caress my sins into irrelevance 

and that midnight, Aurora heat 

of impassioned embraces 

convincing us

there’s nothing, more certain

than that love

we grasped, so white-knuckled

tight.

 

To watch, a flea’s gaiety 

buzz around me, all

full of whimsy’s, vitality

with darting, daring

undefinable flight paths

and surmise

this seed of doubt, I cling to

is futility, manifested

in but, a stifled breath’s

last pulsed, breathless hoorah

at that impending finality

of dust to atom, unshackling regress

before, a deaf n dumb Universe’s

graveyard of unpoetically, sparse

indifference.

 

To smile - away

such morbid realisations 

and flip a page, showcase

that survivalist, repertoire

of bravely attuned, necessary ignorance

to stave off

such debilitatingly poisonous, fears

and stopper our porous creativity’s

insidious inclinations

and try, to convince our misleading muse

such, morose musing’s

are mere momentary, nightmarish snippets

escaping our mind’s tempestuous glades

like Autumnal, scarlet thought-leaves

fluttering

upon a gust of momentary unease.

 

Letting these inked words

of our fallible - insecurity, rivers

flow, in those brooklet seconds 

between

watching an Ant line

being haplessly pulverised

with a size ten, misstep

while simultaneously, noticing

a fleeting butterfly, Phoenix’s

bright daintily wings, flapping

to guide our harassed thoughts

towards horizon’s enticing vistas.

 

When I alone, seek bravery’s defiance

to marginalise that finale’s inevitability

as paralysing curse

I choose

to close my eyes and have You

dance

upon my mind’s pooling disquiet

like carefree bare feet, stamping

to cleanse muddy rainfall puddles

so as, to disperse this futile dread’s

stranglehold

on that gift of unbidden laughter’s

solace.

 

 

© L. B. Mek

March 2022

  • Author: L. B. Mek (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 14th, 2022 03:49
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 32

Comments7

  • crypticbard

    When we are found by laughter again that is when we know that we will make it through another day. Thanks for sharing L.B.

    • L. B. Mek

      indeed, I believe it takes more muscles to smile
      than it does to frown or cry
      hence, we must learn to cherish
      that we achieve with survival's demanding efforts...
      (thank you, for your encouragingly insightful comments
      dear cherished Poet
      your supportive words never fail to humble me, back
      to a more grateful, mindset)

      • crypticbard

        That is such a good thought and insight about the effort that brings good fruit! A true act of love and kindness that springs from within swells upward and outward in a smile. And the lines and creases from all that smiling shows a live well lived and well loved.

      • 1 more comment

      • Neil Higgins

        "To close my eyes and have you dance" a great line from a wonderfully constructed piece LB

        • L. B. Mek

          that's one of my favourite lines from this humble scribble
          trust you to connect and read with such care and detail
          thank you, kind friend

        • sorenbarrett

          L.B. these reflections and soliloquy on inevitable separation is marked with some great lines upon my mind’s pooling disquiet
          "like carefree bare feet, stamping
          to cleanse muddy rainfall puddles
          so as, to disperse this futile dread’s
          stranglehold" Thank you so much for sharing this well written common theme to us all.

          • L. B. Mek

            so glad you enjoyed the read dear Poet, thank you!
            and indeed, it is such a common theme

          • Poetic Dan

            Took me a few goes to find the time to read but what an unforgettable scroll. More than a poetic soul, more than my words can express! You my friend are the dragonfly of the human kindness, seeing both sides for what it is!
            Thank you for sharing

            • Poetic Dan

              O my days not heard that tune for time, bringing back the memories of being to young to leave home but knew it was the only road I could go down...
              Keep shining on good sir!

              • L. B. Mek

                I will endeavour to someday be worthy
                of your incredible kindness dear poetic Kin
                till then I will humbly, thank you! wholeheartedly
                (yeah, Tracy Chapman's 'fast car'
                and this video/song
                scream: 'soundtrack of my youth')
                lol
                (how fleeting life's years, counted in fractional
                shards, of memento highlights
                how sad we realise a second's worth, belatedly
                as 'waning-heart's', too late...
                yet, despite it all
                we lived in each gifted breath
                and survived, long enough
                to treasure, life
                a 'Bitter Sweet Symphony': truly!)

              • 1 more comment

              • Kinsey Peterson

                Have you ever read the secret history by Donna Tartt? Her language is exquisite- same as yours. You weave such strong emotion with seemingly so little effort it is inspiring. You remind me of my favourite author. Please take this as a compliment- as that is what it is.

                • L. B. Mek

                  what a gift of a comment, I'm so humbled kind Poet
                  Donna Tartt
                  is up there for me with Edith Wharton 'age of innocence
                  Iris Murdoch 'under the net'
                  and so many more, literary female 'Geniuses!'
                  whose legacy seas of ink, grace my poetic heart
                  with endless lines of eloquence, delivered
                  unfiltered and thus, so immersive and relatable:
                  (“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it.”
                  for me this line should always be read aside and as counterweight to Keats:
                  ''A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never.
                  Pass into nothingness; but still will keep. A bower quiet for us, and a sleep.'')
                  thank you! I know what I'll be reading this weekend
                  lol
                  (forgive my self-indulgent little tangent of hero worship)

                • Bella Shepard

                  My dear friend, you speak so fluently of the human condition. The feeling that life is fleeting, that time an illusion. Fears that cause us to distract ourselves daily, and we must somehow reconcile to. Yet to share this uncertain life with another eases the disquietude, and we can fine peace, perhaps joy in acceptance. A sublime write my dear friend!

                  • L. B. Mek

                    'Fears that cause us to distract ourselves daily,
                    and we must somehow reconcile to.
                    Yet to share this uncertain life with another
                    eases the disquietude, and we can find peace,
                    perhaps joy in acceptance.'
                    (Amen!!!
                    best lines of distilled poetry on this page
                    in my humble opinion)
                    thank you! kind Poet

                  • Neville


                    I have now lost count of the times I have read & re-read this epic reflection back on back and shall no doubt re-visit again from time to time .. each time, by the way, I get the feeling I enjoyed it more and more ............... Neville

                    • L. B. Mek

                      Awesome!
                      I genuinely hoped you would get a chance to read this one
                      in another life, I imagine we would've a few memorable nights
                      blathering-on poetic, about this topic
                      aside a few bottles of the good stuff
                      🍻🍻😎
                      thank you, kind Poet



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