Wishing things could be different…..

I wish I could of told you what I was planning and skimming,

I know you didn’t choose this path for me,

I promise my love for you will never die,

If I could open a book about my life just know you would be chapter,

I hope you will forgive me and one day understand what I done was for the better,

You chose love over me so I chose it over you,

Now look where faith left us,

We are further apart than we ever imagined,

I felt your emotions it took me everything I had not to cry on the phone to you,

I wish life didn’t split us in two like this,

Laying in bed hoping one day both our worlds will collide again,

I promise I won’t let the memories be in vain to what we had,

Every scar on my body and trauma made me the man I am now,

They say I should smile but how can I smile when my life been a constant battle,

Just know I would of said love you before it all happened,

Money is the root of all evils,

Money is what lead us down this path you just took more than you can handle and left me empty,

If we didn’t have our issues I would of fixed it all,

I know you would of protected me if you weren’t so scared of him but just know the streets raised me to be stronger than you can ever imagine,

You will be destine memory but memory is better than being forgotten,

You prayed for the lord to guide me when I saw you pray I knew I was at peace with myself,

When you had your hands open hoping these demons wouldn’t take your son,

These demons didn’t take your son,

They just allowed me to be somebody who I never thought I could become,

I looked in your eyes and told you I wasn’t going anywhere but we both lied to eachother in the end,

You would ring but when my phone stop ringing thats when I knew I was gonna be on my own from here on out,

Nobody will prepare you for life you gotta prepare Yourself..

I don’t show when I feel but just know I feel this shit everyday…

I always thought we had a bond stronger than anything in this world but you proved me wrong,

I felt it did you? Did you think I will get this far? I dread to think what you tell them about me now. Just know it won’t ever be good without me,