My life

Mountain of Laundry....

No we don’t need to do that.

Clean blankets for winter....

No we don’t need them.

Clothes for work....

Nahh, hmm’ maybe just rewear them 10 times?.

Clean house?....

Nahhhh let it go until we can’t stand it.

Put away clothes....

Ehhh’ who needs a closet anyway.

Bed made?.....

Why’ it just gets messed up anyway.

Happiness....?

Fuck’ I don’t think I even know the meaning.

Train the animals....!

Oh’ no sir. No time for that..

Pay your bill’s....

uhm’ I’m sorry I have to do what.?

I’d rather go blow it on pointless shit that seems important at the time and worry about those bills when times almost ran out.

Time for yourself....?

Shit... too much of that now’ I like being alone.

Friends...?

Shady here’ shady there’ everywhere a shady stare...

pick up after yourself!....

Why no one else really does till someone complains.

A day off ....!?

Fucking still feels like work!!!!!!!!!

You seem stressed out......

Because I fucking am.

Why are you so snappy....?

I’m sorry...?’ Maybe it’s because no one truly listens to understand me. They only listen to reply.

You seem so happy all the time.....!

Don’t let it fool you’ the master comes from cries.

What seems like all is nothing but to complain....’

I’m screaming inside hoping the body I’m in just dies......

Oooooo’ let’s buy a gun & go to the shooting range...!

In hopes to have some fun....

Oh’ no can not do that’

Through the thoughts & emotions I might do something’ & finally get to say goodbye..

To this world I so utterly hate...

I mean what is soo bad....?

Within my sanity’ I fear I am too late.

What about a shower....? To feel better....?

Fucking gawd’ I’m too exhausted for that.

Life could be worse you know....!?

Clearly of that i do know.

Inner spiraling hate for my depression’....

So many thoughts and words I can not take back.

Try & rest.. go to sleep....

My mind wants to race’

Filled with shit it just won’t let go.

Keep your head up, keep moving through the pain....

For all my problems that only drain....

To myself’ it’s ok. I am the only one to blame.

• Tamara smith