How Dare You

I don't even know why I'm writing these lines

When you don't even know you consume my mind

They might be thinking "Oh, after him she always pines"

NO! It's not THAT! And yet, you consume my mind

And I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to feel

And for you, it's not even that big of a deal

In fact, for you I'm not even there

Just another mindless formality to bear

And, GOD, I wish you didn't even care

Because that would be so much easier to bear

And I am shaky, and I am lost,

While you don’t even know what your actions cost

And you might think I’m a silly little girl

That is naive and young and utterly dumb

And even if I am- you are no great earl

For whom my anger has to numb

And you are not aware, and you know nothing,

About the anger in my heart that’s actively churning

And I wish I didn’t even spare you a glance

While you enjoy with her a perpetual romance

I won’t envy you two for it, come on, why would I?

Let’s be honest, we both know I don’t lie

You think for a love letter I pour out everything I got?

You think for you, I’d be someone I’m not?

You think I’ll return your precious little bag?

For which my heart was reduced to a rag?

Well, I will! But I wish I couldn’t care

About what you thought to be so fair

And I wish I didn’t smile or laugh at what you said

And I wish I knew why you keep running through my head

And you’re not that special, and you’re not that kind,

So I guess I’ll never know why you consume my mind