Ive taken the time, to try to find,
All the things I love and never look behind,
I've taken every step, with no regret,
For my life to be changed with every passing breath,
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions,
But my road to hell was paved,
With false perceptions and false suspicions,
False realities feeding uncontrolled dualalties,
Love and hate, searching for lies in the truth,
But nevermind that now, the past has been written,
But the path forward isn't,
If only I could catch my breath for a minute,
And let go of all this pain, that's driving me to madness,
At the point of going insane,
Dammed for wanting truth and purity,
Dammed for being human,
Strengths turning into insecurities,
I carry the weight of my mistakes,
I surrender to the hands of fate,
I relinquish all this love and all this hate,
Whatever it takes, and whatever awaits.
For me to regain the heart and soul I gave away,
In my confusion, in my delusion,
I should have known forever and a day was just an illusion,
When vicious cycles started to take place,
Days of love traded for weeks of hate,
Pushed away, thrown out of the only heaven I've ever known,
Wounds inflicted so deep, they can't be seen,
But they cut to the bone,
I know I'm not innocent, I've made cuts of my own,
How am I supposed to find my place in this world,
When I've lost the only true home I've ever known,
How am I supposed to dream when I can't even sleep,
How am I supposed to keep fighting when I've only tasted defeat,
How I am supposed to find meaning in a world so hollow,
Force-fed bullshit, swallowing all this sorrow,
The darkness calls, I'm ready to give in,
Ive been broken so many times,
I've forgotten what it means to mend,
Lionized and then demonized, brought in close,
And then ostracized,
Demoralized and then brought to strength,
When I'm consumed by the fire in your eyes,
A man, a monster, I am what you say I am,
Loving, a liar,
I feel like it never pays to give a damn,
Ive shed my blood and I've shed bitter tears,
I've been brought to the heavens with hopes,
I've been brought to my knees with fear,
I've lost all control when the rage takes hold,
Ive craved so much just for the truth to be told,
Years wasted, when so much could have been achieved,
This tiny box I stare at, still whispers,
Still deceives me,
Everything that could have been,
Has finally reached a point of no return,
In this fire I am purified, so let me cleansed of this,
Let me be consumed by the flame, let me burn,
What will be will be,
I surrender to the hands of fate.