Alive

I Walk to the bathroom and close myself in

Slowly tie the belt in my hand into a knot

Feeling only numbness and worry, I loop it around my exposed neck

Thoughts swarm my head while my lungs beg for air

The guilt I felt before for even thinking about it doesn't exist now

I slowly see black and unloop my poor neck

I gasp in air, I cant do this, I need to stop

I try again.

I felt it, I felt close but still unloop my neck...again

Standing in the silent room, I feel faint and dizzy

All the guilt before now doubles and swallows me in

I walk out feeling numb 

I walk out, alive.