Just Another Shot in The Dark

Neville

Just Another Shot in The Dark

 

When there is no one else

and nowhere to go

I just want to lay here with you

alone in our secret room

V

When there is no one else

and nowhere to go

I just need to lay with you here

alone in this secret room

 

Just Another Shot in The Dark

 

  • Author: Neville (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 1st, 2022 04:50
  • Comment from author about the poem: for all those out there who have ever felt used and abused .. some men are indeed like this, but not all of us are .. and of course, this applies to those with x2 X chromosomes too
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 54
  • User favorite of this poem: Aradhya.
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Comments9

  • Fay Slimm.

    Pathos issues from every line here - and from the title too -- the feeling of being abused goes so sadly deep into the psyche . - -- a relatable write for both genders methinks Nev.....x

    • Neville



      Bless you Fay .. I have just revised the whole thing so hope it still meets with your approval ...x

    • Fay Slimm.

      It meets very well Nev and the two verse repetition adds to its pitiful poignance...x

    • arqios

      Indeed for each and every person this may be applicable on both parts.

      • Neville



        I like to think so .. cheers .. Neville

      • dusk arising

        we all have our secret/sacred places of dreamsville... our safe haven

        • Neville



          absolutely .. I got three of em 🙂

        • orchidee

          I'm understanding the message in this - but meanwhile - in the dark? Put a light on?! heehee.

          • Neville



            I would prefer it if you were left in the dark a wee bit longer

            • orchidee

              Oohh I'm all in the dark about the true meaning of any swoony poems! lol. I'll get me coat. I need to get out more, as they say!

            • Kinsey Peterson

              This is beautiful. I only wish I had a secret room and someone to lie beside me. Thank you for the poem Neville.

              • Neville



                I am more than merely grateful for your visiting my little scribble Joan & believe me my friend, I am sure it will happen for you one day .. In the meantime though, I seriously wish you all the very best of all good things,

                Your Literary Friend,

                Neville

              • MendedFences27

                'When there's no one else and nowhere to go," only then do you wish to "lay there" with her. And why a "secret room?" I was a bit confused, and also lost by the "V", but that's probably a good thing.
                If this is a plain old statement of love, then it is beautiful. If it's a specific kind of love, then I am lost.
                Forgive me if this sounds confusing, it's because I am. - Phil A.

                • Neville



                  Hey MF27 we are all entitled to be a bit confused once in a while & just to prove how much I love ya I'm gonna explain that bloomin V .. Originally, there was only the first half of this posted .. the half that Fay initially commented on & which hopefully comes across as a plain old statement and a show of warmth and affection .. but then it struck me .. on the other side of the coin, not all such relationships or encounters are like that, some are far more cold, callous and sinister .. Hence the re-wording and working of the second half ..... The V that separates the two halves .. and which I think might easily make up two individual standalone scribbles was intended to be viewed as the v for versus like Mohammed Ali v George Foreman .. or ... as v for verses ..... Hope that helps a little my friend ......... Neville 🙂

                • Aradhya

                  I found this so very hauntingly beautiful. A bit intriguing too as the safe haven is dark, as mostly such a place is associated with light and brightness. Darkness gives the feeling of uncertainty, unknownness, and a racing heart(just my thoughts), which makes your words all the more interesting. And the repetition makes the feelings of grief more poignant. Sometimes darkness is far more peaceful and healing than a brilliant hues of light. Perhaps the darkness is because of being afraid of reality?
                  Anyways, this felt very sincere to me and I absolutely loved it!

                  • Neville



                    What a delightfully well-reasoned and heart-warming thing to say my friend .. I am deeply moved & thank you for it and your visit here 🙂

                  • L. B. Mek

                    for me, Hyung
                    the saddest part
                    is the betrayal that lingers
                    long after the traumas has been overcome bravely,
                    that's what makes it so hard to trust again
                    because we all judge the threat levels we encounter
                    but when we choose to entrust our safety
                    to another we deem, worthy
                    and that's taken advantage of
                    so mercilessly
                    for merely seconds of depraved gratification...
                    it breaks our capacity to trust
                    those we may deem, as safe in the future
                    and poisons our connections with people irreversibly...
                    and perpetrators barely get years as sentence for such crimes
                    while survivors spend a lifetime dealing with it
                    🤬🤬🤬
                    (and we say 'stay safe, be aware'
                    but of who, strangers?
                    when its the people around us
                    that usually plot or opportunistically
                    act out such despicable acts)
                    this is why I can never do your profession
                    the empath in me will end-up a vigilante mass murderer

                    • Neville



                      Neva lose that insight of yours brother Mek ......... thank you for sharing that perspective .. it accurately reflects much of my own .. Neville



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