Just Another Shot in The Dark
When there is no one else
and nowhere to go
I just want to lay here with you
alone in our secret room
V
When there is no one else
and nowhere to go
I just need to lay with you here
alone in this secret room
Just Another Shot in The Dark
-
Author:
Neville (
Offline) - Published: December 1st, 2022 04:50
- Comment from author about the poem: for all those out there who have ever felt used and abused .. some men are indeed like this, but not all of us are .. and of course, this applies to those with x2 X chromosomes too
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 55
- Users favorite of this poem: Aradhya
Offline)
Comments9
Pathos issues from every line here - and from the title too -- the feeling of being abused goes so sadly deep into the psyche . - -- a relatable write for both genders methinks Nev.....x
Bless you Fay .. I have just revised the whole thing so hope it still meets with your approval ...x
It meets very well Nev and the two verse repetition adds to its pitiful poignance...x
Indeed for each and every person this may be applicable on both parts.
I like to think so .. cheers .. Neville
we all have our secret/sacred places of dreamsville... our safe haven
absolutely .. I got three of em 🙂
I'm understanding the message in this - but meanwhile - in the dark? Put a light on?! heehee.
I would prefer it if you were left in the dark a wee bit longer
Oohh I'm all in the dark about the true meaning of any swoony poems! lol. I'll get me coat. I need to get out more, as they say!
This is beautiful. I only wish I had a secret room and someone to lie beside me. Thank you for the poem Neville.
I am more than merely grateful for your visiting my little scribble Joan & believe me my friend, I am sure it will happen for you one day .. In the meantime though, I seriously wish you all the very best of all good things,
Your Literary Friend,
Neville
'When there's no one else and nowhere to go," only then do you wish to "lay there" with her. And why a "secret room?" I was a bit confused, and also lost by the "V", but that's probably a good thing.
If this is a plain old statement of love, then it is beautiful. If it's a specific kind of love, then I am lost.
Forgive me if this sounds confusing, it's because I am. - Phil A.
Hey MF27 we are all entitled to be a bit confused once in a while & just to prove how much I love ya I'm gonna explain that bloomin V .. Originally, there was only the first half of this posted .. the half that Fay initially commented on & which hopefully comes across as a plain old statement and a show of warmth and affection .. but then it struck me .. on the other side of the coin, not all such relationships or encounters are like that, some are far more cold, callous and sinister .. Hence the re-wording and working of the second half ..... The V that separates the two halves .. and which I think might easily make up two individual standalone scribbles was intended to be viewed as the v for versus like Mohammed Ali v George Foreman .. or ... as v for verses ..... Hope that helps a little my friend ......... Neville 🙂
I found this so very hauntingly beautiful. A bit intriguing too as the safe haven is dark, as mostly such a place is associated with light and brightness. Darkness gives the feeling of uncertainty, unknownness, and a racing heart(just my thoughts), which makes your words all the more interesting. And the repetition makes the feelings of grief more poignant. Sometimes darkness is far more peaceful and healing than a brilliant hues of light. Perhaps the darkness is because of being afraid of reality?
Anyways, this felt very sincere to me and I absolutely loved it!
What a delightfully well-reasoned and heart-warming thing to say my friend .. I am deeply moved & thank you for it and your visit here 🙂
for me, Hyung
the saddest part
is the betrayal that lingers
long after the traumas has been overcome bravely,
that's what makes it so hard to trust again
because we all judge the threat levels we encounter
but when we choose to entrust our safety
to another we deem, worthy
and that's taken advantage of
so mercilessly
for merely seconds of depraved gratification...
it breaks our capacity to trust
those we may deem, as safe in the future
and poisons our connections with people irreversibly...
and perpetrators barely get years as sentence for such crimes
while survivors spend a lifetime dealing with it
🤬🤬🤬
(and we say 'stay safe, be aware'
but of who, strangers?
when its the people around us
that usually plot or opportunistically
act out such despicable acts)
this is why I can never do your profession
the empath in me will end-up a vigilante mass murderer
Neva lose that insight of yours brother Mek ......... thank you for sharing that perspective .. it accurately reflects much of my own .. Neville
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