THE THOUGHT OF YOU

I no longer check your social media. 

Finally, the mixture in my stomach is gone. 

Woke up one day and decided that blocking you, brings me peace of mind.

I believe it is best for me, keeping you as a good feeling.

The process of letting you go is not as easy as I imagined

All the nights I cried till I fell asleep, still remain active.

Releasing all the history and the energies we shared, it’s very relieving.

For the longest I feared to be alone, but I’ve come to realize…

My purpose in life is to heal, to elevate those who are in need.

I was put on your path to take the darkness out, 

To heal and prepare you for your next journey. 

It was after the breakup when I understood, 

My presence was a moment in your lifetime.

I gave you a part of me to accompany you on your lonely days.

The structure of my heart is beyond abstract and beautiful. 

Modifications are necessary to evolve, to grow. 

Nurturing you was easy for me, the hard part was you, accepting it. 

You were scared to trust, to love and to be whole again.

I didn’t mind. I knew what I could do for you and the outcome. 

The thought of you lingers in the back of my brain

I managed to get your smell out of my skin 

Getting elevated with my favorite strain, blue dream

Fantasizing of what could’ve been no longer bothers me 

Baby, I’ve lost, and I’ve won 

Today, I can’t decide. I am the middle lane. 

We live instantly, running constantly, rushing from place to place 

Clocks and dimensions. 

I stop, I stare, I listen, and I learn. Feel the warmth of the coldest day, 19 degrees 

Cold days bring me the thought of you 

In this realm I trust, the pinkest moments will always be blue.

The new year brings in new energy

Shedding my old habits and creating new ones 

I must leave you behind, letting you have that piece of me 

At the Yule I will mourn for your existence 

and, for the thought of you.