The Dot.Com Blues

I got a computer a few years ago
Learned how to use it in a week or so
When that internet thing I finally understood
I got to surfing the web like Johnny B Good
What was about to happen could've made the news
I was about to find out about the dot.com blues

The first thing I tried was to make some money
But the way it turned out really wasn't funny
All day I was trading stocks on the internet
And all night long I'd worry and fret
I lost my butt no matter what I'd choose
My first taste of the dot.com blues

Now after I'd lost ten or twelve grand
I got to feeling the needs of a normal man
I was reading the ads on those dating clubs
And dreaming of a chick in a steamy hot tub
Now something like that I could've really used
But I got another shot of the dot.com blues

I found a woman up in Tennessee
I emailed her and she emailed me
Then I went to her house on top of a hill
And I wish now I'd took a nerve pill
That woman and kids blew every fuse
And I got a real dose of the dot.com blues

I flew back home on a jumbo jet
And made up my mind to forget that internet
But my animal lust was just too strong
And I found another honey before too long
Didn't figure I had nothing to lose
Nothing except them old dot.com blues

Now this new chick seemed really hot
And I ain't a'kidding her name was Dot
When we finally met I knew I'd found some luck
In a week Dot came home with me in my pickup truck
I wanted to tell everyone my good news
Dot had done cured my dot.com blues

We're married now with a cute baby boy
Our lives are nothing but fun and joy
Yeah I love my boy and my new wife Dot
She kept my life from literally going to pot
Every year we go on an ocean cruise
And I ain't studying the dot.com blues

Won't have no more
No more dot.com blues