grief in my bones


the grief that has grown roots

in my stomach winds its way

up behind my ribs with the 

intention to bruise,

and lodges in my throat


fifteen years later,

and i still can’t say your

name out loud


so i cry into shaking hands,

instead, one over my face,

the other balled into a fist

that i bite down on


under the light of a cold

moon that is closer than you

are to me, i sob out all

the breath in my lungs


and it’s been so long,

my old friend,

that i can’t remember what i

said the last time i saw you


but i wish i had said more,

sat beside you a little longer,

lingered under your smile

like it was the sun after

so long in the rain


i wish you could see

what i’ve made of myself,

the tattoo on my right shoulder

i gripped so hard while tears

soaked into my pillowcase


and when you’re still gone

in the morning, gone where i

still can’t follow to the clearing at

the end of the path


i’ll brush myself off and

continue on,

until we meet again,

my old friend 

  • Author: Boaz Priestly (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 12th, 2023 01:31
  • Comment from author about the poem: A couple days ago, it was the fifteen year anniversary of a good friend passing away when we were kids. I never thought I'd be older than her, and that's been hitting me really hard since then. I fell out of touch with her parents in 2020, and feel really bad about it. I just miss my friend so much.
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 14
  • User favorite of this poem: Jane Frye.


  • Jane Frye

    ❤️ I lost my best friend in a car accident when we were 16. I've learned to live with it, but I never got over it. I was very moved by your words.

    • queer-with-a-pen

      I am so sorry to hear about your friend! Death is always sad, but it’s worse when the person is so young.

      I am humbled that my poem resonated with you. Thank you for reading.

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