Beautifully Broken

    Once was broken, but remained beautifully in tact. The more I grew, the tougher the life lessons became. In fact, I cried so hard my tears formed a river of some sort and was sparkling blue. Tell me, what's the significance between me and you? Here's a clue, you're beautiful but I feel I'm just broken… broken beyond repair. Gone, part of me is present but the other half disappeared. How could someone love someone so damaged as I? Just the thought of it makes me want to cry. Oh wait, but I did.

Is this the way one should live? Parts remain in the dark, feelings becoming suppressed, life as we know it is just a hoax where familiar faces wear smiles, belch laughter but still so depressed. Ones heart aches to be loved correctly, but through so much mental and emotional damage you can't put feelings into words directly. But the pent up anger you feel from your past trauma makes it hard for you to correct me but on the flip it's so easy to check me?

How does that work? Sometimes I think to myself how much better things would be if I was wiped off the face of the earth. But yet, everyone I've crossed paths with needed the motherly touch and God chose me to play role of the nurse. Hard to get away from it, but even harder to deny. Bending over backwards for everyone but getting shit in return may be the cause of my untimely demise.

t5Shit, how can I keep going on like this? Why do I wake up every morning questioning the way that I live? If there's a safe place for me, would it be in the arms of a man? Or being home with the kids? Would it be me somewhere getting high til I can't feel my face? Or would I be signing my first book as a part of show bizz? Who knows? All I know is.. Life's been a bitch. I wish I could kill the unwanted feelings and doubts about myself, throw em' in a ditch, burry it 8 feet deep so there's no room for the repeated thoughts to creep.

I … was once broken, but always remained so beautifully in tact. How far would you go to put on an act?