my thoughts

My brain is empty

My heart is leaking out it's energy

My knees are breaking 

My stomachs turning

My soul is aching

My words are fading

My happiness is ending

But I'm holding on tight

So tight I might be the one ending it 

But I'm still holding on 

I'm not letting go 

But it's slowing starting to go 

It's like trying to hold sand 

But sooner or later 

It will start to slip out your hand 

What do I do when it is all gone 

When there's nothing left to grip on  

What happens when my body gives up 

Do I lay on the floor and wait to be picked up 

But I won't scream 

I won't shout 

I will watch myself slowly melt 

Melt away into the floor 

And then finally I won't feel anymore

I'm a sinner 

And I have always been 

But that doesn't mean I don't love God 

Even though to everyone 

I'm just a sin

I won't say I'm not trying

It's hard to get up 

When yours legs are cut off 

It's hard to open doors 

With my hands tied behind my back

It's hard to tell you about the demons I'm fighting 

When there behind my back 

I don't know why life is doing this 

They say it's to make me stronger

But it feels like it's trying to telling me 

Why hold on any longer

I'm looking and the edge of a Clif

Saying to myself this could be it 

One step and it's over

 One close my eyes and count to three

And I could fly for just a second

It didn't matter what happened when I landed

I finally was free 

You no longer had a hold on me 

I was gone just like that 

I could be a bird like I always wanted to be 

Fly away from the hell hole

Eating me inside 

And once I hit the ground

My demos are gone 

And off to go look for their next pawn 

To destroy inside.