I remember when I was three feet high
I tugged on your shoulder
I asked you why
No one likes me
You did worse then disagree
Now the person who was supposed to protect
Treated me like I was a defect
Every word you said started to infect
I wanted to make you proud
Scream my family name out loud
After a few years of torment
It started to cement
Am I your child I would think
Your not a branch there's no link
The milkman the mailman you would say
That cant be my son
especially if he is gay
What you did cant be undone
Going to school to being tortured
Getting home being ignored
Valentines in my box
The cartoons had fat cocks
Feeling alone, almost a preteen
Everyday feels like halloween
A mask I wear so I do not hate
Whats underneath to be a looser is my fate
I remember when I was just thirteen
I told you I was pagan
You started to demean
You looked at me like I was regan
Suddenly I was an evil thing
I was raised to make my own choices I thought
From this point on all we did was fought
Suddenly Jesus was my savior
I was not aloud to have layers
This is one of the last memories I have
The last time I remember having a Dad
Junior high brought more pain
Moving into highschool it was all the same
Feeling alone attention I needed
An easy target how he succeeded
Isolated in a dark place
He took me to his bedroom a mistake
Six months of literal hell
I cried and I fell
Sinking down below
Down to the lowest of lows
His hand wrapped around my throat saying mine
I will own you until the end of time
I asked for his help on my knees I did pray
Your savior did nothing im not being saved
My body started to shake and I wanted to be free
You would not even look at me
You say over and over again
I would have come and saved the day
I could have said it straight to your face
I would have got told you were busy
You were absentee
You were not around
When I got married one time or two
I really never mattered to you
As I look at your profile that is on block
I have to tell myself its enough and I stop
We wont speak until the day you die
When you face your father
In the so called sky
-
Author:
strifeandparadisepoetry (
Offline) - Published: January 26th, 2023 16:53
- Comment from author about the poem: I wrote this poem after doing some inner childwork with my therapist and starting to accept that my Dads consistent bullying was apart of my trauma.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 12
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
Offline)
Comments1
I laud writing
as an avenue, to communing
with that most repressed
part of our pain shrivelled selves
excavate deep, dear poet
share with your therapist
all that you need, to be scraped clean
do not let it linger, as gangrene
killing you from inside out
no, now that you have a foothold
to 'a better'
grab it with impassioned zeal
fight, brethren
Fight, for your breath afforded right
to enjoy, at least some parts of your
life
and it all begins, by scraping
all that hurt, clean
imagine your therapist, as a
surgeon
a tool, to guide you
as you cleanse yourself of this
metaphorical cancer
as best as you can, as you learn
to let go
as you get better, at recognising
your worth
as you grab, what's left
for you to claim, as your shards
of happiness
stay strong!
'Fight the good fight'
till the very end
'do not go quite!'
roar proud your defiance
(sadly all I have
to offer you, are these humble words
of encouragement, yet
I shall wish you all the best
and let you know, I laud
your use of poetry, as utility
to express your fight
and hope, fate has mercy enough
to let you avenge your life
by throwing you a few lucky turns
as a small karmic exchange
for all your hurt...)
stay strong!
this road you're embarking on is long
with bruisings n stumbles aplenty
yet i trust, you'll find the process worthy
(and please forgive me
if you find my words, toxic
or negative in any way
in my feeble way
I was just trying to encourage)
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