The small space
of a lover's eye
A bed of hay
on which to die
A desert waste
from sea to sea
A journey sure
to finish me
The walled garden
of my lover's heart
The vain glory
of my petty art
A molting grackle
in the rain
A screech, a shiver,
a shower of shame
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Author:
jarcher54 (
Offline) - Published: February 7th, 2023 02:12
- Comment from author about the poem: Musings on loneliness
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 74
- Users favorite of this poem: MendedFences27, L. B. Mek, Teddy.15
Offline)
Comments25
my word, you muse so very well .. like fine art, this is near priceless .. N
As usual the most interesting things for me sort of write themselves. Thanks for opening this humble link.
We all must sort this in our own way... In the meantime you've wrought a delicate thing which notes without becoming maudilin.
Thank you Dave. I'm not particularly lonesome or hopeless... it's a human state we can all meditate on for others if not for ourselves. I can be lonesome if I really try!
Wouldn't have thought you were, jarch.
I enjoy your contributions when I come across them - Stay here, won't you?
Well done J.
BTW your art ain't petty.
Thank you for your kindness. I love composing and making little watercolors, but I am extremely busy at work. Retirement is calling!!
The loneliness is everywhere in the empty spaces your poem holds. How beautiful!
Thank you kind lady. This one was almost more about sound than meaning.
Written about a year ago in a trance of unrequited... something I can't even identify! Grazie
I loved the pairings. Subtle yet to the point. A bit melancholic but also nostalgic in a way. Very nice
Yes they aren't directly related but they all worked together in my pea brain! Thank you!!
I know it is well made,
As It made me sad.
Very to the point.
Fitting watercolor too.
Hi! Thank you for your sharing your poem. Your poem has something and it impressed me. Thank you so much!
Nicely done, J54. I read it again.
Really liked this - sharp and vibrant!
"to die," "finish me, "petty art," "shame," these final stanza words present a bleak sadness within your poem. Coupled with your art, which to me seemed to paint a disappearing man, added to that sadness. Yet, the skill with which you articulate the feeling shows poetic mastery. A great poem. - Phil A.
So very relatable, and something to come back to again and again. I've been gone too long. I really enjoy this poem. Hope all is well with you!
I always enjoy your creations so back atcha.
Brilliant!
(forgive my tardiness)
I appreciate you looking back... there is so much poetry on here it's overwhelming!
I kinda had an inkling I would be back here .. and yes, its still as bloomin good as it was the first time ... Neville
Or your taste hasn't improved any!
Wow! I sure can learn a lot from you guys, i am thankful that I joined this community.
I liked this one and identify with parts of it
"The walled garden
of my lover's heart
The vain glory
of my petty art"
This echo's my own feelings very well. This piece reveals more each time it is read.
another re-visit .. not just because I can and I care, but because these words & the accompanying artwork are worth it ... Neville
The metaphors here are amazing. So grounded on the surface but deep upon inspection. The simple and complex united.
Thanks for checking... you are amazingly productive and I can hardly keep up with your daily additions! I am soooooo busy and spread thin... but you inspire me to dig deeper to add more of my own poems.
Hi, thought I would stop by to see what your up to and I'm so gl;ad I did, I love this one! I'm looking forward to reading more of your poems.
Hell of a write
Your poem really resonated with me.
This is still one of my all time jarcher54 faves and no kidding .. Neville
Tremendous work. Well crafted.
A gorgeous rhythm and rhyme, that writes such a lonely scene, but in a very beautiful way. I also like the accompanying picture too, where both the pose and the shadow, depicts a visual statement of yearning.
I can relate to the sentiment you have raised at times, but such a poetic mantra should be a beacon of hope, to look forward to future meetings and rekindling, that would warm the heart.
Bravo, and I hope that all is well.
Wonderful rhyme and emotion. Beautifully created. 🌹
Too kind... this one just came out without much planning or editing... I had recently observed a half-naked grackle in my yard shaking off the cold winter rain. It was a forlorn scene and I bonded with that grackle right then and there.
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