The demon inside me


There is no more space left.

Every single corner is taken by him and other past memories-good and bad, humorous and scary, grey and orange;

It is all grey and dark in his kingdom

It is getting difficult to breathe

He hides somewhere in the dark as soon as he see someone else with me, and

comes out of me when finds me alone and vulnerable

Maybe he is scared of people outside or he knows that he is weak in front of them and can only make me a victim of his so-called bravery

Sometimes I even feel good with him as if he is the only one around whom I can be weak and vulnerable but maybe it is other way round and he is only the one making me feel so,

Because he is well aware of the fact that no one wants him to be inside them and he feels very much unwanted and so he make me to feel the same.

Letting him within me the whole day exhaust me fathomlessly and listening to his daunting, loud talks won't let me sleep peacefully the whole night.

It has been so long that I have controlled my thoughts on my own,

Either he drive it according to his own whims or he leaves it blank with nothing but numbness inside.

He is too giant but flexible,

shrinking himself into a particle size, he bury himself inside my head declaring it his kingdom.

Now, everything in his kingdom is done according to his own rules

Isolating from the rest of the world now it seems as if he wants to gulp me down at once so that I will be all alone.

He does not like it when I open up to people and he punish me for it by locking me  inside a dark black castle in a mysterious place one could never found.

Sometimes it feels that he is also alone and wants to befriend me and therefore becomes insecure watching me being with others

But he made me cut ties with all including myself too, and hence

I am on a verge of losing my sole identity.

At this rate I will be an empty shell at last with no emotions, feelings, love, hatred or even no soul inside.

It remained mystique  secret between both of us.

There is no room to breathe and I feel like dying

 My closest friend-the demon inside me is becoming my new identity and this is the last time me being me.

  • Author: Aina (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 10th, 2023 02:00
  • Comment from author about the poem: It is just a part of my soul.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 12


  • L. B. Mek

    (yeah, before we can heal
    we must face that monster
    excavate the truth's in our pain...)
    thanks for sharing, so relatable
    stay strong!

    • Aina

      Absolutely, dear poet!
      We all need to try accepting the monster as a part of us and together with him try to heal. We all need to stay strong and be the strength of each other.

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