Watching upcoming toilet bowl lvii highlight of February 12th, 2023

Above title attests

how mine mundane mein kampf

insync as a veritable clogged drain oh:

flush with adventure overflowing excrement
er... rather excitement.

Apt aforementioned accurate personal description

believe me not, but urination

and defecation née emergency evacuation,

where majority of human league

smell bound with fascination

triggered (reasonably rhyming) inspiration

culmination of requisite time

sitting atop porcelain goddess

devoid of hesitation and trepidation
herewith follows mine poetic ululation
hoop fully invites veneration.

Poetic embellishment doth belie

ever since garden variety generic guy

long since experienced being little boy

mean kids constantly teased and bullied me

on account yours truly being small fry

barely invisible to naked eye

bullied (most my entire boyhood)

as scapegoat, I did decry
pleading lame feeble alibi,

especially when tawny punk

named Phil (actually a groundhog)

threw suckerpunch witnessing,

yours truly feigned falling

upon wounded knobby knee

to avoid me countenance being pummeled

courtesy knuckle sandwich

they threatened to apply.

One puny socially verily withdrawn lad

no surprise experienced suicidal ideation

throughout public school even as undergrad

never wagon figurative tail when fired

from one after another workstation.

Hence metaphorically hermetically sealed self

against incessant beastie boys squirreled away

amidst imaginative escapes courtesy bookshelf

isolates myself, viz remaining figuratively at bay

interestingly enough petrified livingsocial whereby

flesh and bone closely resembled hardened clay

hashtagged Matthew Scott Harris as pipsqueak

deadset to halt physical maturation without delay

anorexia nervosa (modus operandi) did buzzfeed

starved and emaciated lovely bones as main entree

unbeknownst then, but clear as a bell now

emotional state of parents unspooled and didst fray

father and mother aghast their pallor went ashen gray

grim reaper wielding large scythe intimating hooray

approximately half dozen years later

both parents relentlessly vilified verbally hammered

and especially didst inveigh

against their sole singular son

born thirteenth of January

hooded think those folks

who begot me more cruel fate

then being lynched courtesy triple "K."

Gambone builders bought property razed demesne

to escape vitriolic wrath atop roof at Glen Elm, I lay

nevertheless indelible memories emotional reprieve

spiritual succor delivered upon many a bygone May

when heat radiating off shingles served newgateway

passing time and wishing myself far as Norway
adopting role of bachelor farmer,

or even time traveling
back Catskills circa Borscht Belt,

also known as Jewish Alps oy vey.

Yours truly risk averse

which characteristic,

I declare constitutes curse

thus isolation found me sprawled out

upon wuthering heights

against regular diet of diatribes

delivered carte blanche

with expletive filled verse

toward solitary son ill fate

receiving nasty brutal abuse

considered dying far less worse.

Precious minutes and hours atop

seven gabled hideaway blithely did elapse

me gingerly scuttling out attic window

though agoraphobic and loathe to drop

distance and no longer courting death

no matter concluding life (during

early/mid twenties) total flop

merely wishing raging machinations
against male offspring would stop.

Hurtful words yelled after papa

guzzled bottles of vermouth
(not really, I admittedly prevaricate)

courtesy late father and mother

resoundingly, severely, terrifyingly,

wickedly, violently uncouth

subjected imbalanced earthling

(yours truly - me)

think venomous metaphorical

bloody blackened barbs,

viz inconveniently grossly, egregiously

one after another hurtful

figurative daggers antithesis of truth,

albeit synopsis regarding

second born (middle child - sole son)

begat courtesy Harriet and Boyce

upon their psychologically harried

flesh out the womb of young mother

(both parents now long since deceased)

now said heir long in the tooth

wordsmith here wonders why forsooth

he tolerated torturous abuse.