How things change

1/6/23

I feel depressed

so terribly sad

I don't even know what it's like

to be without this cloud of melancholy

I feel anxious

feel it in my bones

urging me to approach every day with dread

I feel hurt, I feel damaged

and I feel like I want to damage myself

so maybe I can feel a different kind of pain

not one that doesn't go away

one that makes me feel hopeless, and worthless, and helpless

I don't know what to do

but all I know is that I AM NOT OKAY.

2/22/23

Sometimes mornings are hard

the urge to cuddle in my blankets 

and sleep the day away

holds me captive in my bed

but when I plant my feet on the ground

I don't feel dread

I feel hope

Instead of a cloud of melancholy

I feel the sun on my face

urging me to approach the day with optimism

Instead of wanting to hurt myself

I want to help myself 

I don't have all the answers

But all I know is that I AM GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY.