I Miss You Father

I miss you father,
is how this one begins
I miss your voice
I long for the sound of your ring
I miss your smile
One of the things I inherited from you
I miss your upbeat personality
And I forever cherish those moments we had,
even if it only feels like a few
Not a day goes by where you don’t cross my mind
I miss your animated “hellos” and I miss your loving “goodbyes” 
I always perceived you as a hardworking, loving, sacrificial, patient, and humble man
I will forever be your daughter
I will forever be your “Kimberlina”
And you are forever my dad,
regardless of you moving onto the next realm
You were special to me and I was special to you
I remember everything we shared in common,
from our love for music, to our love for travel, to our chill attitudes
You were a man full of so much life
You were present for so many birthdays, you were present for my graduations
You always did your part regardless of how many miles separated us
Because you knew how special it was when it was just us two
A father bonding with his daughter like the way atoms do
You were the definition of what an earthly father should be
You gave me all the love a daughter can ask for
You always made sure you would knock on my door
I now know how much I meant to you
And you meant and still mean a lot to me too
I remember the vacations we took
Like Florida, like Canada,
And when I look at myself in the mirror,
I always mentally say, “I am your spitting image”
I miss seeing your face,
I would love to physically see it again, even if it’s just for one day
I would also love to give you one more tight hug
Your hugs always meant a lot to me so putting this in writing is rough
I cannot believe you are gone
I experience a whole bunch of fluctuations of emotions and thoughts
Some days I live life as if you are still here
Other heavy and melancholic days,
I get overwhelmed with tears
I miss speaking with you, I miss laughing with you, I miss spending time with you
Not a soul in this world will ever make me love you less
Although I did not get to witness you all the time
I am forever grateful for the pieces of you that were involved in my life
Sometimes I ask the Lord, why did my earthly father have to suffer the way he did?
Then I have to remind myself that God has perfect wisdom
and not a flawed human being who resides in a world of sin
Sin is what makes us all spiritually sick
So who am I to question the one who created the heavens and the earth?
I may not understand all the time
But I must remember that God is the God who gives and takes away life
And God is the only one who can rectify the hurt
God is the judge and not I
But it does not mean that I cannot express what I feel
God wants the rawness of me and He slowly wants to help me heal
On His timing of course
I may miss you earthly father for the rest of my life
But I have faith that these sentiments I deal with will be easier to face over time
To my earthly father, I hate the way you suffered on this earth for the short amount of time that you did
Although that time was short,
your sickness was detrimental, it was fatal, and it is the reasoning behind me writing this,
this experience, this story, this written art
It took me some time, but now I am able to finally express some of that pain in my heart
I will never forget you my father, you were one of my best friends
I miss your audios, I miss your sweet texts
Some days I feel stable, other days I feel like an emotional wreck
I feel like I should be able to text you and have you respond 
But now I have visited the reality where all I can say is “so long”
But nonetheless,
now the world knows what I wanted it to know
Now this is where the story will close
And now I can finally say,
THE END.
P.S. I love you my father, and if the heavenly kingdom is where you are, I hope to see you, one day again🕊️💐