what the trees feel.

alliegcassidy

sometimes i wonder

how the trees must feel.

when the season arrives

and they lose every single leaf 

they've grown to know.

and every single leaf 

they've grown to love.

and they suffer loss.

time and time again.

and they crack open and whither

they must weep.

surely they weep.

because how can one lose all it knows

and not shed a single tear.

so sometimes i sit back and i wonder

what the trees must feel

 

- a.c.

  • Author: alliegcassidy (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 7th, 2023 23:02
  • Comment from author about the poem: i know this poem isn't the best, but i tried. it just came to me and i wrote as i went along. constructive criticism is welcomed :)
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 25
  • Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, reneesunknown, Lorna
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Comments +

Comments4

  • L. B. Mek

    (dear Poet, the below
    is my feeble attempt at 'constructive criticism'
    if I offend or annoy you in any way
    please accept my apology in advance
    trust me I only wish i could write a poem like you
    and so, please
    feel free to ignore my words..
    thank you! for sharing a most memorable read)
    your poetic exposition on the inevitability of change,
    (be it
    parents watching children grow n move out
    or
    children watching grandparent's, age
    and move on
    etc)
    is really well imagined
    and crystallised
    in your imagery rich, poetry
    you have utilised an accessible metaphor
    and offer a level of brevity with your choice wording..
    (i think the work is perfectly fine as it is)
    there is elegance, in simplicity of eloquence
    a work need not be unnecessarily complex
    to fit-in, a poetic form or niche!
    maybe, in future
    i can suggest, you try adding layers
    to the perspective
    you portray, which will help you add even more depth
    for example:
    you could distil and edit this poem
    as one lengthy stanza
    then maybe offer, a second stanza
    with the perspective
    of 'that' unchanging, stone
    adding an alternate or a juxtaposed
    poetic voice
    that witnesses the seasons change
    and wishes, it could experience it..
    (so maybe an old person looking out the window of old people home
    waiting, on nothing
    month after month
    across the road from a school
    watching kids grow, cry, laugh
    and experiencing everything with
    that zeal of untainted youth
    etc)
    such mechanisms in poetry, help add
    and flourish your 'voice'
    and broaden your scope
    and thus insuring more people, relate
    to your work
    (but what do i know)

  • Caring dove

    I like this poem .. nice personification of the tree .. I’m sure the tree would feel loss and pain .. carrying something we love only to lose it is sad .. almost like losing a part of ourselves .. the leaves on the tree.. maybe you can make the poem a bit longer or maybe use some similes or alliteration ..

  • reneesunknown

    This is absolutely beautiful

  • Lorna

    Ooooooo gonna watch for more from you. I like the style............



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