Cats

Cats.

“Let’s give a pet a home.” She said, “ Let’s adopt a cat
We”‘ll get one from the shelter, there’s bound to be a match.

“Let's do our bit for animals, those who are in need.
We’re not fussy about the type, the colour or the breed.”
“ Make sure to get a fluffy one a Ragdoll or Mancoon,
Let’s get ourselves a cat,” she said, “ In fact, we'll make it two!”

We arrived home from the shelter and shortly after that.
Following a home visit they delivered us the cats.
They arrived in separate cages and when we set them free.
They both began investigating, first the house then me.


They’re not the nicest looking cats in fact they’re rather plain. The family spent many hours considering their names.
The Tom cat only has one eye and so he’s partly blind.
Half a broken tail that he drags along behind.
A chunk out of his ear and a scar across his chin.
Naming him was easy, Lucky, Lucky Jim.

The other Cat, she hates me and likes to play her games.
The kids all think I’m the one who’s given her a name.
The kids have heard me curse when referring to the Cat.
They often hear me say “ I’ll kill that Cooking fat!”

Like a pair of wild hyenas they set out to explore.
Then Tom cat marked his territory up the bathroom door.
The “ She” cat kinda sniggered, and then as if she’d flew,
up the curtain pole she went to get a better view.

What harm could they do? A couple of rescued strays
They had the personalities of Ron and Reggie Kray.
And when they’d had some dinner and settled for the night
They waited till we’d gone to bed and then began to fight.

They were howling like the Banshee running around the bed.
Then they ceased their argument and picked on me instead.
The Tom cat lifted up a paw and one by one exposed
A set of razor talons which he stuck into my nose.


“ Aww look they want to play” she said as she began to wake
“ If I get my way” I thought, “ I'll chuck em in the lake.
I slipped into mi dressing gown and was glad to let them out
To terrorise the neighborhood and anyone about.

Look, they ‘ve brought a present back, “ My good lady said.
They proudly dropped upon the mat a bird without a head.
My sleep was interrupted when I heard a mighty crash.
I thought we might have burglars, so down the stairs I dashed.

I fumbled in the darkness in my undies and mi socks
And found a half dead pigeon stuck in the letter box.
“Who would post a thing like that?”
I pondered, then I saw..
The feline Burke and Hare sitting there outside the door.

So if you’re fond of animals and filled with good intention
Don’t listen to your instincts, reasons or convention.
Don’t listen to the Children or pleadings from your wife.
But it’s good to give a rescued pet a home and happy life