I always wonder what the point of life truly is.
Beyond popularity and discovery, Is there a reason?
I lay here staring at the ceiling for my answer.
Knowing that the darkness doesn't provide anything more than what I truly know.
But what is it that I know?
I know many things, I know how to write, read, cook, and clean. Yet that isn't enough.
We strive to be the best. And once we are the best we strive to be better.
Leaving skills to be untouched and unachievable in terms of others.
The only question I seem to wonder then is "Who am I?".
It's more in-depth than imaginable.
No one can answer it.
For there are two parts collided.
Your view of yourself and the view of others.
I often wonder what others think of me.
Do they think I am stuck up?
Do they think I'm worthless?
Do they love me?
Do they hate me?
Many people have said positive things.
But those are easy lies.
People don't lie about negative traits.
And the negative ones have stuck to my brain,.
Stapled,
Taped,
Glued,
Stuck.
They linger and tear.
They rip deep forming my invisible scars.
It pains me to think about those opinions.
They ruin my side of the question.
WHO AM I?
I aspire to be a leader and a friend.
But aspirations aren't outcomes.
And even though I am young, I feel too aged to change my life.
Can I change my life?
Can I stop doubting myself?
Can I be brave?
The kind of brave that lets you share your true feelings.
Can I be honest?
The kind of honesty that makes others understand you.
Will they even understand?
And then. In the midst of my questioning, I remember the truth.
That this is just me and my head.
Thinking while staring into the darkness of the ceiling.
When I turn on the light it will change.
I will have new knowledge.
I will be more understanding.
It will be easier to find answers.
Knowing that the light provides more than the dark ever will.
Even if the dark can be the most comforting.
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