I am tired.

 

I am tired.
I am tired of having to pretend masquerading around with a means to no end. 
Scrutinising thoughts engrave my name in the raw wounds of remorse bleeding with shame.

I’m not the person I was, I’m adamant on that so why has the past stolen my future igniting anger but too weak to attack.

My mind has been twisted, tormented with no sign of relief, please help me god, words I speak on repeat depending on our creator to change my disbelief but it’s not his job to pull me from the wreckage erupting beneath, I am tired.

I am tired of anxiety riddled premonitions when all I yearn for is true happiness and positive recognition, It’s not alot to ask for yet I’m scared at what I’ll find   
the barriers I break are stuck on rewind,  If i push myself too hard sooner or later I’ll fall behind but I’ve only got myself to blame for being stuck in this bind, do you not think I’ve tried…

Every day is a failed attempt at reconciliation   
I’m silently screaming in pure desperation too angry at myself too look in the mirror

This girl is lost. That. I can’t see any clearer.