Yesterday I Loved You

As you lay next to me and I burgeon                                              

With dark liquid thoughts of a soft death                                            

I know this love is real                                                                          

And we hold each other, and I feel immortal                                  

As love comes back to me like a river of time                                

Bending with celestial light                                                            

Into clouds, and farewells, and aching memories                                  

Glitter like foolish desire in my eyes                                        

And I look at you, and I kiss you, and I feel safe with you                  

In this moment, I don't need anyone                                            

But candlelight and wine and you, like honey                                      

Like a sea, like a never ending dream, in blue silk sheets 

I fall into you like amnesia, overdosing on pleasure                      

I have died in your eyes                                                        

And felt the breeze of the winter highway                                      

A starburst                                                                                    

Alone in my bedroom, dreaming of him                                    

My head between his legs, like a dead flower on the windowsill

As the lavender sunlight flickers through                      

Through a sky full of rain and dreams, seashore lovers                            

In the shape of a swan                                                                      

Eyes drawn to silver and jasmine and amber                                        

Clouds blurry at the tip                                              

Propose love, in your arms, and nothing more than love                            

The lyrical ballads we seek                                                            

Soft whiskey kisses 

I love you quietly and I love you openly                                                                                                                                                               

Because I am not afraid of what people say                              

And I don't care, when I am drunk on your aroma                        

The salt of your sweat between my teeth like cherry soda                      

I saw a boy on my lap and I saw myself as a father                            

With wings like an angel                                              

Masturbating all day like an idiot savant                                              

Only free when I'm dancing 

I've learned to love these depressing afternoons                        

Gently whispering in my ear                                      

Boredom and no money and the pink fuzz of beer          

And the text messages, and the late busses, and the fog over the hill                

The crescent over the water                                            

And the pangs and the facsimiles of happiness ringing out                        

Like the smell of him and the songs we sang                          

As the gulls flocked and hesitated with eels and telescopes               

Broken bones on eternal roads                                                

And the debris drifting from my hands                        

Unravelling like ribbons when we don't talk and I am sad                    

And there's nothing more to say                                    

And I don't know how to articulate what the blades of grass mean          

What happened when you moved to Paris                                      

The coldness of sleep                                                      

Underneath my fingernails, or the provenance of my lust                  

Phosphorescent love glowing in the dark                                                                    

Capsized in the stars 

Yesterday I loved you, and I love you today        

How you harvest a love song and take the milk of a nightjar                      

And sprinkle dust like anecdotes                                          

Mending golden rivers as we speak                                          

I want us to be rustic, baroque, erotic, fetishes                        

Brazen and intimate                                                    

Diving into a pool of morning stars                                    

Flowers for all the ones we love, the stillness of time                      

A moving ship towards night                                  

And I think, yesterday I loved you, like the cracking of an egg          

And I still love you when the sun dances.