almost okay

 

i want to be torn apart

left, crying in shreds

the scars that say that im not good enough

not good enough for any

any and all thats what they say

they never say "are you okay"

no im not doing okay.

okay?

 

i want it to be painless

i want it to be excruciating

i want it to be fine

i want it to be bad

i want the attention i never got

am i selfish for that?

 

the scary thoughts are overwhelming

spreading like a weed

in a garden i thought was healing

clearly not, i see the roses in the garden

are soon, now bleeding blood

black roses are spreading ink

in and

out it goes

is this just a plot of a fairytale

i cant escape

or am i the antagonist to myself?