Inner demos

Hey, it's me. How are you? I've missed you. It's been such a long time.

Hey! How are you, I'm great thanks for asking. It has been a long time but that's ok because I've been working on myself. How have you been?  

I bet you have been. I assure you im doing better than you. Aren't you dead yet? You're worthless. You'll never be good enough. You can't win. No one loves you, shit no one even cares. You have no friends. You're family just pretends. Everyone would be better off without you; the whole world would be better off without you and nobody would even notice if you were gone. 

Um, excuse me why would you say those things? My life is going great thank you; I work hard for what I have. My sobriety, my children, my relationships, my happiness. 

Haha maybe you didn't hear me but you'll never be good enough. You'll never stay sober.  You're efforts will continue to go unnoticed just like no one notices your existence. Your good deeds will be undone by someone with more to offer. You're love will go unreturned and your loving gestures unappreciated. 

OK ok, I'm sorry but I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. What else can I do? I'm changing who I am, what I do and how I approach things. I guess I'm stuck. Please help me not put me down. 

That's not why I'm here. I'm here to tell you the truth. You're a failure at everything. Your exterior beauty is nonexistent and your interior beauty is not worth anything. No one cares. You're too fat. Then you're too skinny. You're out of shape or you look gross from being to in shape. Your breasts are not big enough and your ass is to small too. 
You have no style because you're broke. You'll never afford to buy what you actually like so just stop trying. You'll never be able to afford nice things or things to change your body. Your charity will never be enough. 
Your kids will never love you or look up to you. No man will ever truly love or want you for you. No man will appreciate you the way you appreciate them. No man will ever return the love, happiness and joy you try to give to them.  You will be used and abused because that's all you're worth. Just deal with it already. You have no talent, your goals are unaccomplished and your dreams are out of reach. I will say this one last time and maybe now you'll listen,  you are worthless and always will be so just give it all up now. How have you not ended it all already? No one wants you here. YOU don't matter.!
 

Whoa, wow, who are you to say these things? To tell me I don't matter? I try with everything I have. It is good enough. I am good enough. My life will mean something. I'm trying so insanely hard. 

Oh honey just give up already. Don't you get it at all by now? Who am I to say these things to you? Oh my darling, I am YOU!