TGis on mi Birfday !
That time of the year has come round once again, when the family gets quite excited
We”ll all go out for my birthday for our dinner where we’ll be United
I don’t mind a pizza or chicken or an American burger with fries.
But the place I hate more than receiving a summons is dinner at
TGIs.
They’ll tell ‘em that it is my birfday and all the other diners will stare.
The customers sing happy birthday while I have to stand on my chair.
The waiters start dancing around me and then segway in to the lambada
They all come from show business background most of em rejects from
Rada
Meanwhile I’m getting dizzy, on my chair looking up at the ceiling
Whilst nobody’s serving the food, they’re too busy rocking and reeling.
It’s not the done thing on my birthday, an experience I’ve grown to hate.
Stood on my chair like a pillock while my food’s going cold on mi plate.
I eventually get back to the floor, feeling like a buffoon
Then some silly bugger appears with a badge and a bloody balloon.
An experience I don’t want repeated, an adventure that I’ve learned to detest.
Sat with a balloon around my wrist and a birfday badge stuck on mi chest.
With waitresses cavorting around me, singing so loudly and clear.
With a cold steak on mi plate on the table and a bottle of very warm beer.
The waitress is always a big girl, with muscles and child bearing hips.
Her blouse is always skin tight, with badges all over her ………sleeve.
The highlight of my birthday party is when she is serving mi steak.
She leans so far forward, in that low cut blouse.
Her titties fall onto mi plate !
I’m glad when the party's over, I can't wait to call it a day
And just because it’s my celebration, the family expects me to pay.
Next year when it is my birfday. I’m gonna pretend that I’m ill.
I’ll avoid all this drama and theatre, and I won’t have to settle the bill.
-
Author:
Chris Duffy (
Offline) - Published: April 20th, 2023 12:59
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 5
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments2
😂 Not exactly dysfunctional, your family Chris, but perhaps communication skills or summat could be polished up just a little. Can empathise - my family (when I had 'em) always knew what was best for me..........
Morning Dave.
Trust you are well.
Thanks for the kind comments.
I think I’m the dysfunctional one and getting more so with age . 😂👍
Happy Birthday! dear cherished Poet
thought this was so fucking funny
loved that edgy, cynical humour:
'They all come from show business background most of em rejects from
Rada'
'Then some silly bugger appears with a badge and a bloody balloon.'
'With waitresses cavorting around me, singing so loudly and clear.
With a cold steak on mi plate on the table and a bottle of very warm beer.'
'Next year when it is my birfday. I’m gonna pretend that I’m ill.
I’ll avoid all this drama and theatre, and I won’t have to settle the bill.'
'The highlight of my birthday party is when she is serving mi steak.
She leans so far forward, in that low cut blouse.
Her titties fall onto mi plate !'
(well my friend, how rare
do you like your steak...)
👏😎🍻
many happy returns, and hope you and your loved ones
have a great year!
Thank you, very kind words indeed.
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