Cut

When I'm alone at night & the rest of the world is sleeping, this blade is my only friend. The numbness in me craves to feel something - anything. The crazy in me begs me to go deeper. "If you do, it'll all be over." I try not to listen to it. I watch my blood drip from my wrist to the floor by the light of the moon. The moon watches me do this every night. The moon is the only one who knows. Sometimes I feel like it's the only one who cares. Watching my inner pain manifest itself onto my body is an addiction. I know it's not right but I'm so broken that it feels like it is.

I'm terrified of the day a loved one sees what's under my sleeve. I know I can't keep this up forever. Just like my blood, the truth is going to come out. I can't keep smiling to the rest of the world when there's a universe of shame inside me. Self harm only takes you so far, but in my mind I'm traveling miles & miles away from here.