Reasons to Explain

It's like watchin' another family
fall apart
and I can't help it... 
No, I lost it
I cry myself to sleep again
I need to find myself a friend, 
But who wants to be friends...with someone growing up in a war zone? 

I'm just watching the fighting
The arguing
and I can't do anything. 
I can't help
so I run... 
I run away to my room
my safe-place
my only shelter

It hurts me so much
it makes me cry. 
I can't lie
and I try...I try to walk away
I feel myself pulling slowly away.
And I cry...I cry and I run away... 
All I have left of them is a picture to go by
and I don't even want that. 
I rip my face free of them
and I throw the portrait away...

Cast away
Yesterday
Ran away

Can't get the memories out of my head
Wonder if I could end this with led...

Same story, different life.
Walk away before I cry
cos sometimes I can't hold it in
no matter how I try, I will cry.
They still fight and yell
emotions swell
can nothing quell
this eternal fighting?

No, it's just like before...
but now there's 2 more...

They get mad cos they had to stop playing 
They keep saying it isn't fair they had to stop...

Mom and dad ain't playin'
Am I the only one....
that understands why they told them to leave?
They don't know
how it scars... 
They don't understand...
that they're trying to save them from
seeing what all I've seen... 
From hurting like I do... 
But why didn't he ever
do that for me...?

Did he know, somehow
that he'd leave her
and need someone to explain his actions? 
Or maybe
more likely
he just didn't care
that I stay...or that it hurt so much...

But there's no time to cry! 
So I'll wipe the tears out of my crying face.
So lost in space...

So you ask me now 
Why am I so cold?
So hurt? So lost?
So broken? Stay hidden? 
Black shroud...No positivity in my life
All a game?
Shrouded in mist, what a shame...

Black hole, 
hide forever...
No, run forever...
because I can no longer stay...

Broken family portrait
broken glasses filled my ears.
Things breaking
people yelling, screaming
so broken...
Can't we just pretend this is working?
No...

I shield myself from it, 
won't let this thing called emotion take hold. 
Left so cold...inside
I know some sort of warmth should be here 
but I have shut the world away. 
This world has left my soul frozen... 
cold-blooded and callous
emotionless...
And when they do stir, they're quickly suppressed. 
So paranoid... 
and I will never change.

So how can I believe
this could be any different?
Shut the world away
and I will leave today, 
because I know you never loved me
I know you never will.

Carry meaning?
Here it is...
Humans are cold. 
They're greedy. 
They're vein.
They think nothing of hurting others
Or even each other.

So I'll kiss my faith goodbye
try to fight another day
and I will walk away.