Fork git about spooner hiz ham

And join (singing the words
in the next paragraph) whether alone
in a traffic jam
basting, cooking, then eating a lamb
prepared by thee missus
a superb culinary madam.

“A Ram Sam Sam” Lyrics

A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A rafiq, a rafiq
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam
A rafiq, a rafiq
Guli guli guli guli guli ram sam sam.

 

The following dereliction of truth

heavily influenced

my babe of mine name Ruth

(think prevarication forsooth)

essentially crafted countless years,
when yours truly

courtesy parochialism bred cooth

preserved timeless tintype of me

many moons ago
sitting pretty (once a bonny lad)

with his innocent lass

perched on mine bony knees

while forced lip tulip in kissing booth.

 

Unlike centenarian

who crafts these words,

perchance yar juiced
a young whippersnapper man or woman

maybe born, bread and raised

in the city that never sleeps,
or dwelt in the boondocks or sticks,
catch some 'possum or squirrel

and as a loyal son or daughter take a tram

to enjoy a tasty repast

 

with widowed momma,

cuz ever since da

yo papa passed away....,

a futile attempt made to fill that void

awash with more'n than half a century

of wedded bliss,

whereat purposelessness pervasive

per surviving mother,

who feigns happiness, regales others

with showers of affection,

 

and remains active feeding her avocation

comprising striving and succeeding

to be adept within the culinary arts

thru self taught trials and errors

of brave taste testers

(which guinea pigs ought

to get medal of honor for bravery),

though her exemplary cooking reputation

exceeds five star Michelin rating

through meticulous

 

and exacting measured ingredients,
she glides within the kitchen

however occasionally,

a fork and spoon slips to the floor

which inexplicable

gravitational alchemical phenomena

fuses separate pieces of cutlery

into one eating implement
whereupon a dead reckoning

takes shape, that "mum"

might be in mortal danger

per inconspicuous cooking tool,
whence ya stop SnapChat tin

and shutterfly as greased BuzzFeed

twittering like a bat out of hell -
ya swoop down smash mouth facebook first
presaging a fatality visiting

upon the head of mum
(her christened name Chris Anne thumb -

the last appended word

 

linked with her diminutive size),

who intently engrossed,

keenly self absorbed,
and rapt attentively

with tasks at hand

most likely oblivious

to potential safety dukes of hazard

as a benevolent offspring temporarily
take instagram reprieve,

and utilize fancy footwork

 

tote hillbilly tubular re: turn

to counterpoise vis a vis

match less laws of physics,

whereby toe tulle lee tubular

test tick yule har kickstarter antics applied

to kindle hurly burly gnarly flatware bach up

adjacent to state of the art beet oven
which upright pedal

poised pose like leverage incorporates

quickly donning improvisational

 

makeshift faux cuirass

with suitable culinary accoutrements
stringing together various

geometrical metal trays

and tin pot for helmet,
whereby a strategic

stance thence established,

where inert stainless steel

buffoon glaring spork

would be forced

 

to take tailspin upwards,

whence fingers grab

innocuous lethal weapon,

which self entertainment learned

while stationed in a rack

run amuck mess hall rowdiness

taught said table mannered tricks

magic mike moment imitating hotmail -
glorified footlocker earthlinked craft,

where whatsapp tinder penned didst

inviting Barack Obama

to zap hiz frankfurter foot,
when he made a syrup prize visit

nobly endeavoring without evincing

auld trumpetting donning shoe purr action

trained first with dominant topface toes

alternating with recessive

opposing shod totally tubular taps

until fancy footwork became ambipedal

balancing ball of left

 

or right foot atop tine
or dish of fork or spoon respectively

as stray stainless steel ware defying gravity

gracefully leapt - somersaulting

in a pirouette pinwheel linkedin arc

tine and/or miniature

shovel scooper over handle

kin ur pinion (all things considered)

an eye opening experience

and the simple pleasure one can derive

from practicing strategy

trigonometry, spatial relations.