Mourning Routine

When I wake up, before I even realize where I am, I remember that you don't exist anymore. I know that I should rejoice in the fact that your soul is resting but my mind isn't. The thought of you not being here anymore lingers over my head like a dark gray could. I can't stop the tears when I think about the love you gave me & the profound impact you've had on my life. My head fills with the things I wish I told you. I should've told you how much you meant to me. How precious I found you to be. That your words were like living water. That your smile and laugh made flowers bloom in my spirit. I thought you were so beautiful. I hope you know that now, my dear. I hope you know that now.