Rumbling

The rumbling, the light headedness you get when you stand up too fast.

It’s all too familiar. The feeling of both starvation and dehydration. The memories flashing back.

The shower raining into the bath as I got rid of the waste.

The smell as I ran to grab air freshener to relieve the air.

The constant starvation, crawling on the floor looking for anything to digest.

One crumb, one drop, that’s all I needed to calm the roaring. 

Lights flashing. Sirens blaring. Tubes. Wires. And constant beeping of a machine. 

Blankets covering my almost nothing body. 
•••
Next mornin I’m up, all alone in a room.

Look around and all I see are meaningless flowers and cards. 

•••

As I breathe there’s a buzzing. The tubes in my mouth and the IV in my arm tells me this is only the beginning.

Nurse tells me to eat, but as I allow the mushy food to pass I feel the pain coming back. 

Before my second spoon I look around the room, to all my family’s faces, full of worry and concern. 

I look at the spoon then down to my covered body, telling myself I should just give up. 

All at once. Everything rushing through my mind, as I lay there, unable to move any part of my body.