I am ill eke quipped to dusk hoover dawn ting task of badinage

Indentured gumption forsaken

courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth

fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole

nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity

(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)

teases out apropos exaggeration

after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth

without shadow of doubt signifying untruth

merely relishes using me pickled brine

as a practiced po' wit,

whereby this logophile

doth das scribe today June sixth, tooth

house sand and twenty three, hoop fully

hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,

yours truly figurative

slugger and word sleuth

rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth

lemme know if literary endeavor
(even juiced by ghost of chance) forsooth

pretty please notice ingratiation

linkedin with mine being couth

prominently tickles one and/or booth
phunny bone of bunny rabbit.

Funny bones belonging to thee

generic garden variety bot
dear reader rabbit carrot

teen loony toon Bugs Bunny
(asking what's up doc)

impersonator 'course I would unroll
welcome mat (a two seater)

roomy for outsize trumpeting despot

Scottish tartan and Harris tweed

(cuz I'm boss), oh... I almost forgot

dons hat as coordinator
three ring circuits, who runs hot
and cold compliments
to thee named Ingrid,

I proffer a family heirloom ingot
(worth about the same as fine spun gold)

courtesy schizoid personality disorder,

when juiced mere unicellular, speck, jot...

nine month parasite huddled in utero

with umbilical cord tied into Gordian knot

assimilating, gestating, maturing,

signaling mine trademark bon mot,

which aforementioned gobbledygook

devoid of sense and sensibility or riveting plot
poetic translation essentially means diddly-squat
thus tis probably high time,

I mount my Clydesdale steed and happily trot
back to the house at Pooh's corner.

All Joe King aside, I embarked
as independent contractor

for United States Space Force
as 007 secret double agent
to craft senseless poem

with humorous figurative bent

elbow quite aware acronym

designating heaven cent
ear, nose and throat specialist
may not necessarily wax poetic,
thus scud daddy ling dude,
(nevertheless quite decent)

wrought literary dud versus

concocting Earth shaking event

versatility exemplifying fragment

infinitesimal ability owned by modest gent

with honest to goodness intent
and no self approbation, emasculation,

indignation, obfuscation, meant
against one singular heir a parent
whose fortune on credit card bills

and automobile loan he spent,
thus futile to beseech thee dear reader

for legal tender, filthy lucre,

greenbacks, et cetera cuz

series of unfortunate events

one charity case if appreciates
reading thru plaintive feeble vent.

After the above written

rhyme without reason poetic yawping,

I took much needed reprieve NOT

to exhaust mine laudatory wellspring

subsequently all he wrote comprises something

inane, and without sophisticated substance
essentially absolute zero nothing

nutritious for cerebral cortex
to feast upon material hampering

intellectual succor zilch
otherwise outcome ranked as low achieving.