Peggy Cahill divine heavenly lady

Saint Vincent dePaul Food Pantry 
at Saint Mary's Parish
in Spring Mount blessed,
graced, and praised
courtesy grateful recipient,
he who crafts these words.

Acknowledgement forthcoming today
June 11th, 2022
Matthew Scott Harris
expresses gratitude concerning largesse
regarding quite a few bags
of comestibles, and toiletries.

I feel an effusion of blessedness
viz being fêted, lorded over
and treated like some
dignified churchly father,
for our countless food
and household supplies
(such as various gift cards)
not just today,
but countless occasions 
receiving edible goods,
and sundry other items 
to stock the cupboards.

I frequently experience 
profound social anxiety
(mitigated courtesy prescription medications),
and ofttimes feel like taking flight,
as adrenaline courses (née rushes)
and rattles these lovely bones of mine,
particularly when yours truly
finds himself within madding crowd.

One hapless generic garden variety guy
(me, an aging baby boomer
formerly many scores earth orbitz ago,
a long haired pencil necked geek)
plagued with panic attacks since... birth
experienced accursed
lifetime psychological providence,
where profound anxiety prevailed.

Impossible mission to describe
how fast paced life in general
generates utter confusion
analogous to floundering trout
besieges mine mental redoubt
emotional helter skelter all about
as if mine entire body electric

forced, kickstarted, subjugated..
to perform (yes folks) hokey pokey (ha)
mental gears and cogs
snapping, crackling, popping
inside tumbler like noggin
purportedly linkedin hashtagged
with said mild personality disorder
punctuated with debilitating panic attacks,
hence qualification to receive
social security disability.

Onset of emotional paralysis
stops me dead in my figurative track
metaphorically wishing me to skuttle
back into hermetically sealed manhole
invisible among interleaved bract
where safe and sound
within mine secret cubby hole
also known as apartment b44
at Highland Manor in Schwenksville.

While listening to natural soundtrack,
within the outer limits of twilight zone
usually variation upon binaural beats,
soothing relaxation by
Peder B. Helland, 
an enjoyable youtube melody,
I imagine playing knick knack paddywhack...
as well as really idling away leisure time
occupied with other favorite pastimes
such as: playing solitaire, scrabble,
reading - qua crack
binding of newly purchased books,

(usually at Liberty Thrift Store,
and/or Worthwhile)
spends his time reading,
playing Solitaire
crafting poems, occasionally
testing my chess skills
pitted against computer, backgammon,
as well as solve crossword puzzles
meditate (on the gift
of a watermelon pickle)
to self hypnotize snapchatting,
kickstarting, buzzfeeding biofeedback.