friends with a ghost

I wonder how you are doing

nearly everyday

and I wonder if

I could have been a better friend

 

we were once so close

and we knew everything about each others lives

spending our best summers

like a never ending sleepover

 

now I have not seen you in a year and a half

you have changed your hair several times since

and you got a new boyfriend

I only know these things because I am a spectator

of your life through social media

 

I can not lie that I have not felt concerned

or upset even

it seems like you have got such closer friendships

and it almost feels like ours never existed

because when I text you

you never give my message a look

 

sometimes I have hope you will come around

and it will be like we have never been apart

and other times I am coming to terms

that it ends here

 

that the girl I grew up with

the first sister I ever had

the girl I would play fairies and mermaids with

the girl who would yell over the fence with me

the girl who would walk to the corner store with me

the girl who took me to fairs and a vacation with her family

the girl who let me stain her bathtub with hair dye

the girl who would make me laugh the hardest in the middle of the night

the girl who supported me through the darkest times of my life

is gone and you’re someone unrecognizable inside and out

 

.t.b.