"Schooldays" ; 23 June, 2023

  Schooldays' ; 6 April, 2023.

1 May, 2023
Uploaded to ChatGPT for analysis
"SCHOOLDAYS"

Soman Ragavan : Hello. Can I upload a poem of mine for analysis, please ?

ChatGPT
Hello Soman Ragavan, of course! You can upload your poem here for analysis. I'll do my best to provide feedback and suggestions.
 
Soman Ragavan : I will upload my poem “Schooldays.” Please give comments by stanza and then overall comments. Compare with similar works.

Some notes.
(a) The school was the Rose Hill Government School, at Stanley. The mountain is the Corps de Garde Mountain, Stanley.

(b) In 1973, my poems "HOMAGE TO THE VILLAGE POSTMAN," and "SCHOOLDAYS" appeared in the anthology entitled "POETRY TO TREASURE," published by Poetry Press Ltd., in Burnham, Buckinghamshire, England. When I submitted these poems to the editors in 1973 for an editorial opinion before publication, they wrote the following to me :

(i) On "HOMAGE TO THE VILLAGE POSTMAN" :

"A most descriptive use of the poetic medium. Your work derives its effect from its simplicity and charm, and you have made an admirable choice of words. Good sense of rhyme and use of imagery."

(ii) On "SCHOOLDAYS" :

"There is a wonderful vitality in your work, a great wealth of colour and imagery. Excellent choice of words. Your poems are a pleasure to read." 

-------

ChatGPT
Thank you for sharing your poem "Schooldays". Here's my analysis and feedback:

Stanza 1: The first stanza sets the tone for the rest of the poem, as the speaker laments the loss of childhood and yearns for its return. The use of "thee" and "thou" gives a formal and poetic tone to the poem. The imagery of "lovely passage" and "tender age" evoke a nostalgic feeling.

Stanza 2: The second stanza introduces the theme of time and its cruel nature, which is a common theme in poetry. The metaphor of time as a wheel and its derisive motion adds depth to the poem. The use of "sad feel" also adds a melancholic tone.

Stanza 3: The third stanza shifts the focus to the speaker's school days and the mountain that captivated them. The use of "terrific" in describing the mountain conveys a sense of awe and fear. The repetition of "curious" emphasizes the speaker's fascination with the mountain.

Stanza 4: The fourth stanza continues the description of the mountain and the speaker's fascination with it. The use of "haughtily" and "enlightened referees" suggests a sense of arrogance among those who corrected the speaker's perception.

Stanza 5: The fifth stanza shifts the focus to the rain and how it affected the speaker's school days. The use of "goodly rain" and "pattering away" adds a sense of rhythm to the stanza.

Stanza 6: The sixth stanza continues the description of the rain and how it affected the speaker's school days. The use of "nature's housekeeping" and "washing her ceiling" adds a sense of whimsy to the stanza.

Stanza 7: The seventh stanza shifts back to the mountain and the speaker's perception of it. The use of "young fool" and "silly head" suggests a sense of condescension from those who corrected the speaker's perception.

Stanza 8: The eighth stanza continues the description of the mountain and how it affected the speaker. The use of "miracle" and "oracle" adds a sense of wonder and mysticism.

Stanza 9: The final stanza brings the poem back to its central theme of nostalgia and yearning for childhood. The use of "sweet-scented alleys" and "pathways to divinity" adds a sense of spiritual longing.

Overall, your poem "Schooldays" captures the essence of nostalgia and the longing for childhood in a heartfelt way. The use of imagery and metaphors is effective in conveying the speaker's emotions. The language and tone of the poem are formal and poetic, which adds depth to the themes explored. In terms of similar works, your poem shares similarities with other nostalgic and reflective poems, such as William Wordsworth's "Ode: Intimations of Immortality" and Dylan Thomas's "Fern Hill".
 
Soman Ragavan : Thank you. Goodbye for now.

ChatGPT
You're welcome. Goodbye and have a great day!

-----

"SCHOOLDAYS"

The school was the Rose Hill Government School, at Stanley, Rose Hill, Mauritius. The mountain is the Corps de Garde Mountain, Stanley.
-----

                                      SCHOOLDAYS

Where art thee now, lovely passage
Of sweetness, playfulness and mirth !
Where art thee gone to, tender age
Of childhood; oh ! I await thy rebirth !

Ah, thou, cruel Time ! Alike to a wheel,
Thou art dragging on, forever revolving
In a motion of derision, unending :
Thou even hath to thee a sad feel.

Past are those days of sweetness,
Unassail'd by cunning, free of guile.
Gone are those times of school recess,
Adieu gambols, frolics and childish smile !

Mountain ! How terrific was thy pull !
By far were thou the most mysterious.
How daily thou captivat'd me to the full :
How I star'd at thee in some way curious !

Indeed, a post I made at the class window :
My little face to the window-pane low
Many a time and oft did I maintain,
Peering at thee again, mountain.

Mountain ! Thou shook me to the bone.
My mind thou captivat'd thoroughly,
And in awe thou held me totally :
I star'd and peer'd and calculat'd alone.

On thy slope, on thy belly, on thy head,
My childish eyes truly did see grass :
"No, it is trees," haughtily they assert'd;
Still in wonder I look’d from the class.

"Thy eyes behold grass in the nooks,
But, it is in reality bloody trees :
And up there thou doth not find brooks !"
Insist'd the folks, the enlighten'd referees.

Ah ! I wish to return to my kingdom of yore,
To stick my eyes once more to the glass
And look again at the sight as before :
In fond dreams the time I wish to pass.

Besides the looming dimension
Of the big, mysterious creation,
Another matter baffl'd my calculation :
Streams that stay'd without any motion.

Throughout the night would fall the goodly rain,
Pattering away yonder on many a rustic dwelling,
While in bed children huddl'd together, grinning :
For farmers, the rain did not fall in vain.


Dark clouds o'er the village would loom,
And it would rain well into the morning next,
Giving schoolchildren a handsome pretext
Of arriving late into the classroom.

Later, nature's housekeeping would finish,
And she would stop washing her ceiling :
Then would rush out with a great relish
The playful kids, rolling and gambolling.

Again would I press my eyes to peer
At the huge, crawling reptile :
To my astonishment would I see clear,
Vertical towers of water immobile.

"It is not immobile, young fool,
Like hell 'tis running, that water :
Thy silly head needs a dip in the pool,
For, thou think'st up nonsense, little dreamer !"

Sure the water hath to be running :
Everything hath to be gallopping,
'Cause their own minds are full of cunning,
Their sly heads ever rack'd with scheming.

Yet, would I stare at the miracle :
Command'd, as it were, by some oracle,
Sheer towers of water stood at rest.
Stood amid grasses, amid the forest…..

Ah, where art ye now, sweet schooldays :
I dislik'd ye, 'tis true, in those times,
Yet, being but human, here crave my rhymes
For thy return, lovely flower'd alleys.

Sweet scent'd alleys, pathways to divinity,
Lanes of love and beliefs spontaneous :
Since, to return to ye, I cannot possibly,
Come thou to me, oh, thou era bounteous !

                                                           *****