This Idiot Mess

Who's idea was it?

To ticks all the list of her traumatic event,

The Subject

The Inducer

Them behind the reasoning of the how's

Lead her broken state

And decided, this is it.

Just to make herself feel again?

To not living a shadow 

That time you were numb

But the numbness made you dumb

It was all a rush decision

What?

To challenge yourself?

To test the water?

Funny

Cause you yourself know you ain't ready

But you see the state of your home

Look at the mess of yourself

Is it because you feel bad?

Or just that, you want to do something?

You lost in touch with reality by hiding so long

So you took the advice from that one person

Who said,

"To overcome meaning to fight it first, how will you overcome it if you keep hiding yourself and running away? Face it! Head on! By practice it'll be gone."

You follow, and now everything's a blow

You're weak, and they're smashing you from every direction exist

You are an idiot, for letting this happens to you

Might as well destroy it all

Do you see it now? The ruins?

How your body is spent but the fight is still running?

Will you make it out alive this time?

Now, you've learned the time to stop

But the risk is high to let go

You cannot just go with the flow

Cause there's no more flow

Just ballistic

Can life just let me go?

I'll obediently follow