what is pain?

hanaxo

Pain is when everything in your life is crumbling apart, that hallow space in your heart.

When everything in your fucking life’s falling apart but you’re the therapist friend,you’re the one who fixes their broken hearts.

I’m supposed to be the tough one, the one with all the luck,but I can’t help wondering if I ran out.

When your parents had a nasty divorce and you sit in your room crying on the floor.

When the parent you live with says I wish I didn’t have you,you’re such a pain

I still wonder what I did for that as my gain.

At 11, I was having meltdowns on the bathroom floor but wiping my tears and my fears in the mirror as I walked out the door, I was ms perfect they say, but even that was stolen away as I moved far-far away,the place where I’d always dreamt of visiting, was going to be my home

Such a sad origin

Just when I was figuring everything out,it all suddenly changed.

The place where I’d spent 13 years of my life in, was just another city now

The city that truly left me in wow.

As I walked into the school hallways,I curiously looked around,they all had their squad.

The few people that talked to me were forced by the teacher,I was the outcast now.

The place where I truly fit in was no longer my place,I guess I’d have to mold myself in this place full of snakes.

One day I decided I had enough of this now,I opened my laptop and searched widely for a solution,just then my eyes landed on an opportunity,a school for people like me,what was to loose?

The saying skies the limit doesn’t work for me since I wanna travel and MAKE my destiny.

I fell into the rat race but this was for my dream,I had late nights of extracurriculars and volunteer scenes.

I worked and worked until I was on the top,the top of the sewer is something but what I really want is for me to work and achieve the impossible.

 

 

I was once perfect they say,I might agree with them
But what’s the point of a valueless gem,I wanted an education not just a degree,it’s a race and if you don’t win you fall back deep down.

Once I agree I’d think what would they say,I stopped being a people pleaser that’s all I can say.

Crying in the shower,letting my muffled thoughts flow? man.I was just a kid

Before all went rogue.

 

A 12 year girl stuck on herself,Is that really what you want to portray

WHO says you have the authority over me,I screamed and begged did you even hear my plea?

  • Author: hanaxo (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 28th, 2023 11:16
  • Comment from author about the poem: this is a poem for all the people,the people who cry in the shower and laugh in front of everyone The retired people pleasers in us.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 10
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Comments2

  • ekh

    I love this, the words, meaning, writing, everything!

    • hanaxo

      Ah,you’re too sweet thank you!
      Surprisingly this was my first time writing a poem

    • Christina8

      Great first write, just laying it open for your soul to bare....loved this!



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