Fat

Fat 

“Just exercise.”

“Just eat a salad.”

Seems so simple doesn't it? 

You wake up every day not being able to look at yourself in the mirror, picking at your skin, wishing you could just rip it off. 

So you go into the kitchen and grab whatever you can to fill the void, again. 

It's a constant void that never seems to be filled. 

You look at all these models that all the guys drool over, wondering, when it will be your turn. 

You try everything to lose weight. 

Thousands of diets, starving yourself. 

Gum and water become your new favorite thing. 

It's funny how people think it's easier than this. 

Just exercise, or eat better. 

But the reality is, food is a comfort, something that can't judge you, something that can't run away. 

Something that is always there for you. 

It becomes this dark hole you get trapped in, not knowing how to make it stop. 

Yet, the whole time people judge instead of help. 

Constantly telling you that “the truth hurts, you’re ugly that way, ew.” 

For some reason people think this helps, when in reality it just seems to make everything worse.

 You would think it'd be the opposite wouldn't you? 

But, unless you know what it's like to be trapped in this hole, you have no idea how hard it is to get out of it. 

Everyone can say what they want, but, no one knows unless you've experienced it yourself. Unless you have experienced the stares, the insults, the people not loving you, you don't get to speak on it. 

Its not easy, it is one of the hardest fucking things anyone has to get out of.

 I want you to imagine what it's like to never have someone interested in you for your looks, for your entire family to judge you on how you look or what you eat, to never be able to look at yourself in the mirror without crying.

 I want you to imagine what that would be like.

 It's hell. 

You can imagine it, but unless you've been in my shoes, you will never know what it's truly like. You will never know what it's like to want to rip your skin off, just to make someone like you.

 For you to like you.