A Good Girl

 A good girl...?

"A good girl does what she's told."

I remember what my mum once said

I respected those words, I adored those words

I followed those words, I cherished those words

I wanted to be congratulated, I wanted to be acknowledged

I was mummy's good girl

I was the one girl who did everything she was told

The one girl who always put a smile on my mum's face

I was the good girl

"A good girl keeps secrets, don't ever tell."

I recall what my father said

I kept his words close

I chose to keep the secret

A secret only we knew

A secret he said would make my mum sad

I wanted to be a good girl, I wanted presents

I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be adored

Keeping secrets became our thing and I did...

Because of my mother's words

I kept the secret.

I was the good girl

"Liars go to hell, a good girl should never lie."

My aunt was a mean one but her words...

Her words I understood, her words I knew were truth

Never telling lies, I grew with that

I embedded those words in my heart

Engraved them on my bones like a tattoo

Always telling the truth when asked something

I was the good girl

"How could you? Tell us what you did!"

I was to tell the truth but how?

I wished to escape but I was in trouble

Telling the secret would destroy my bond with my father

Staying silent would break the bond with my mother

Telling a lie would brew trouble with my aunt

How was I to prove I was a good girl?

"You are a disgrace."

Their words killed me inside

My mum couldn't look at me

My father turned away with a sneer

My aunt rolled her eyes in disdain

I was done for

Everything I had done so far...

Where did it all go wrong?

"You're a bad girl!"

Those words I feared the most

I humiliated my mum but... I always did what I'm told

I annoyed my father but... I had kept the secret

I failed my aunt but... I didn't tell any lies

What was a good girl to do?

How would I prove that I'd been a good girl?

How when they all looked disappointed?

How did I become the bad girl?

I simply followed the rules so how...