Senor's wealth management...

battered pinata like

Yours truly courtesy servitude
tethered existence suffers neck
brunt of yoke
fiscal recklessness got me woke
within cosmic schema,

a mere infinitesimal speck.

Insolvent crisis principally bespoke
interestingly enough
caught me off balance
sudden pennilessness
(dollar short/ day late dada)
analogous to vice grip
stranglehold doth choke
coffers emptied
willy-nilly Okey doke
colorblindness

fundamentally governed me

into zombified state
thus another plaintive plea
I repeatedly, lamely, and feebly evoke
meaning remuneration welcomed
courtesy altruistic generosity, magnanimity
and philanthropy humble
anonymous Lake Woebegone folk
ideally Norwegian bachelor farmers
to alleviate fiasco from fiendish
fraudsters frazzled father.

In plain (Schwenksville speak)

broken English,

I fell prey to hustlers
audacious, ferocious, malicious,

voracious, zealous tricksters,
who stealthily found entry
into my Macbook Pro

and locked computer screen
with threatening implication

security of mine private domain

awash with byte size bits

of valuable information

at risk of being tampered

with or obliterated.

Analogous to eminent domain of yore

mine digital terrain

manifest destiny meant war

virtual flesh and blood

regarding these lovely bones

yours truly gussied up

as chargé d'affaires

sent on risky (business) dutiful tour

to inflict comeuppance on him
who rendered me poor

as a Unitarian Church mouse,

plus I recruited
offspring of one of countless

related German Shepherd dogs

featured in fictional stories

on film, radio and television,

who starred as Rin Tin Tin reincarnate
belonging to elite K9 Korp

receiving unexpected support

courtesy end of gum

(cryptic message for ye

to chew on) sympathizers
voluntarily boosted success

at recouping major financial setback
my morale viz extempore.